New parenthood is every bit as exhausting (and then some) as they warned me. And yeah, no matter how much we think we can prepare for it, there's still no way to truly anticipate everything - after all, this is a brand new human being, and all humans are different!
Since I'm still a n00b about parenting, I have nothing really genius to share yet. But I have learned a few things from my own labor, delivery, and post partum experience that is probably worth sharing (or at least remembering)
1. If in doubt, call your doctor. My water broke on 4/16, but it must have been either a high tear or a very small break. In either case, it was a very very small leak - sort of what you experience when you leak urine when you laugh too hard or cough - which I experienced all through pregnancy. So when it happened again, I was pretty sure that was it...and felt embarrassed to consider calling my doctor or going to the hospital just to be turned around. Well, I was wrong. At my OB visit the next day, I was told that my water DID break. Lesson learned? You don't have to always "trust your gut" if you're even a little doubtful about it, CALL IN. You'd feel a lot worse if something bad happened.
2. Getting the epidural later means more pain up front, but also means you can do more upfront to encourage the labor. I had to be induced because my water broke almost 24 hours before I was even admitted to the hospital. I was on Pitocin for a very very long time and nothing was progressing. I was starting to have some pretty strong contractions already, but when they checked me after my 2nd 8 hour infusion, I was only 1.5 cm dilated :( I was ordered to walk around the halls to help things along. I also spent much of my active labor on an exercise ball, which also moved things downwards, and also allowed my husband to use a lot of different techniques to comfort me.
3. Inductions can take forever, and aren't without risk. Between the time I was started on Pitocin and the time Austin was born, 32 hours elapsed. I didn't know people could "fail" Pitocin either. I had one 8 hour infusion (in which NOTHING happened) and had to move on to a second infusion. When I gave birth finally, the doctor told me that I'd suffered more bleeding than most, and they actually took measures to prevent more bleeding - one effect of being on Pitocin for a long time is increased risk for bleeding.
4. If your water has broken, it will continue to leak (in larger and larger amounts) when you go into active labor. It's pretty straightforward. The hole that the baby comes out in gets larger, therefore the leaks are gonna get bigger...and yes, you continue to make amniotic fluid even after your water breaks. They have LARGE pads that you can wear to take care of this...but still, you'll likely soak through many of them during active labor. At one point, I just gave up and let the pad on the bed soak up the fluid.
5. Which brings us to this. Mesh underwear? So awesome. Who wants to ruin their own underwear? The L&D nurses and the postpartum peeps will have a much easier time taking care of you (think inserting big giant ice packs) Plus, it's super stretchy :)
6. Make sure your labor partner brings lots of food - you're not gonna want him to go anywhere once everything is in full swing. I remember thinking, right around 12 PM when my contractions were every 2-3 minutes, "I hope he doesn't leave to go get lunch!!! I can't do this without him!!!" Luckily we brought a huge supply of cereal bars. He ate something like 2 boxes worth :)
7. The ideal epidural gives the patient full pain relief but preserves the sensation of "pressure." This helps guide the pushing, which feels like an overwhelming sense to bear down. However, you can't start pushing until you're 10 cm dilated (if you're not dilated enough, you're wasting energy by beginning to push). "Holding it in," though they say feels like increased pressure, felt like increased pain to me. You'll be tempted to use the PCA pump to increase the epidural dose, but that's not wise either (since increased dose may mean you're blocking the pressure sensation, which helps guide your pushing). Try using your breathing techniques during this time. Know that this transition time passes by fast, and before you know it, you'll be ready for pushing.
8. If you don't want guests, you should specify to the staff that this is the case....or people can just walk right into your L& D room when you're crowning and everything. OK I exaggerated, no one walked in when I was crowning.....but as soon as we called our relatives to let them know that our son was born, they arrived one by one, seemingly minutes after we broke the news...in my L&D room. I didn't end up minding, because I was so overwhelmed with the new baby I just pooped out, but it was still sort of awkward in the sense that I was breastfeeding when people walked in, I wasn't cleaned up all the way yet, and there was blood...pretty much everywhere.....yuck.
9. if your baby sleeps through the night without demanding food or crying, it's not cause he's a good baby - it's cause he endured a lot during the birth process and is too tired to demand much. You should wake him to feed him. The next few nights will be very different.
10. You WILL forget exactly how traumatic it all was. As I'm writing this now, I'm having difficulty recalling some of the details. My husband says he remembers every bit of it, but it's all getting fuzzy to me. I guess that's nature's way of making sure we have more babies.
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