Poop pushes you to the next level.

Today was about the fastest I've ever independently put on the Beco with AJ on my back.

About a half an hour ago, I let the dog out to do her business in the yard. We have a pad in the backyard that she's been trained to pee on.  About 99% of the time, she pees. She usually prefers to poop on her walk.  Today, she decided to poop.

Crap.  Literally.

So as quickly as I can, I grabbed her poop bags and went out to pick up after her (baby is inside the house, playing with his race cars like usual). Meanwhile, the dog is also making a beeline for the door to come in, because...who knows why.  She's a dog.  Well, I was super proud of myself for picking up her stuff and not leaving it for hubby later.  Until I came into the house and smelled something foul.  I looked down at my feet and realized that, yes, she brought some of it back into the house (stupid long butt fur) and it is now squished between my new beautiful Nike socks and my floors.

Oh. shit.

UGHHHH. So I peeled off the sock to get it disinfected (18 gallons of water running over it).  And then realized that the sockless foot just so happened to squish down on ANOTHER pile that she must have flung off, in the bathroom.

DOUBLE SHIT.

Needless to say, I used up an entire bag of disinfectant wipes on my feet (with baby in my arms...can't bear to think about the possibility of additional landmines in the kitchen) then proceeded to put baby in the Beco on my back as fast as I could.  It couldn't take taken seriously more than 5 seconds this time.  My first time super successfully putting him on my back without the assistance of a couch, bed, person, car, etc.

Half hour of disinfecting the entire first floor (enzyme cleaner then old school mopping with 7th Gen detergent (the only thing I feel comfortable enough to clean with knowing that baby is crawling around everywhere, then enzyme cleaner again rinsed with water), baby is fast asleep in the Beco.  My reward, I guess.

I need to get myself some baby safe cleaner that's not laundry detergent :(

Spring is here!

I love spring.  I've always loved spring, but now it's got extra special sentiment, since it was the season that my little guy joined our family.  This time last year, I was outside walking (waddling) around in every park and trail nearby to induce labor.  Loving this March a lot more.

So, here we are.  Pics of AJ's first spring :)

weeeeeeeeee!

not high enough, mama.

feeding the duckies

AJ and Aunt Kathy

His favorite spot at the park by our house - naturally, the "car."

10 Month Notables

Week 1
-Reaching up for the light
-Pushes himself around for about 10 steps by himself on the V-Tech walker
-Sleeping through the night again, 9 PM to 6 AM
-Hands things to you

Week 2
-shakes head when he doesn't want something

Week 3
-got sick, so regressed to waking 1-2 times a night again

Week 4
-almost eats independently if you give him a fork with something on it

I feed my baby, end of story.

AJ is 10 months and 3 weeks now.  That means he's 4 months and 3 weeks beyond my initial goal of exclusively breastfeeding him.  Don't get me wrong, I'm super proud of even making it this far, but seriously, there's only like 5 weeks until he turns 1 and now my milk supply is seriously taking a hit.  

Like, I hit the letdown button and cycled through 6 x 2 minute letdown stimulation cycles this morning....to ultimately pump out a measly 2 ounces (maybe even 1.75 if I looked at it real closely). Today, I struggled at pumping a total of 3 ounces during my 8 hour shift.  I night-pump EVERY night now, just to stay afloat. And by staying afloat, I mean taking 1-2 4 ounce bags out of the freezer stash every day to make ends meet. Oh, and I often cheat.  Instead of keeping real 4 ounce bottles in the fridge, I often pour some 3.5 ouncers and just don't tell AJ's caretakers about the reduced amount. Why? To make things last so I can avoid having to supplement with formula.

And now that it's suddenly obvious to me that we're unlikely going to make it to the one year mark...I feel like I'm failing...

It doesn't even make sense.  I tell my mom friends ALL. THE. TIME. that it's OK if they're not making enough milk.  Formula is just as good. I myself was formula-supplemented from 5 weeks on.  My husband was exclusively formula fed.  I know LOTS of babies who are formula fed who are absolutely thriving.  Plus, the reality is, at one year of age, I'm making the switch anyway to cow's milk.  How is it that I can't wrap my mind around formula use for even a little bit? WHY SO MUCH MOM GUILT?

BECAUSE OF LIES THEY TELL YOU.

I've heard this one over and over and I'm sick of feeling like some sort of failure.  "A baby can absolutely be maintained on breast milk alone throughout the first year of life." There might be some science behind this, with the supply-demand mechanism, but the REALITY is, I would need to continuously be breastfeeding your baby more than 6 times a day (I'm told 8 is optimal, 7 is minimum, 6 is devastating to milk supply).  The only way I can do that is if I quit my job.

What's my point?  I realized how stupid it was to lose sleep over some worthless opinion that some lactation "experts" who have no idea what's important to my family, my child, or I came up with.   Feeling stupid and guilty completely discredits the many of millions of mamas who stand strong in doing the right thing - FEEDING THEIR BABIES and not getting obsessed with this breast is best shit.

Forget Kelly Mom.  Forget the La Leche League. Forget Baby Center and all the crunchy judgy bitches.  I'm celebrating the fact that I'm feeding my baby.

Ready set FORK!

These days AJ's been eating semi-grown up foods.  He's DONE with purees (as in, if it's a thin liquid that's not milk or water and you spoon-feed him, he'll spit it back out at you).

I'm not a huge fan of finger feeding.  At least not with my little monster. He picks up the food, squeezes it in his fist to a pulp, and then drops it to the ground (dog says, NOM NOM NOM!).  He'll only let you spoon feed him food if 1) he's really hungry or 2) it's reeeeally delicious/new.

So what did I do? I gave him a fork.  Yes, before you judge me about giving my 10 month old sharp pokey objects, hear me out.  We use this fork and spoon set at home.  The fork is shaped very much like the spoon, and so the edges are pretty rounded.

I served him the fork with a piece of plum skewered on it yesterday morning and....SUCCESS!

He LOVES the ability to self-feed.  Sometimes, he even brings it above his head and does a fancy airplane gesture.  When he's all done with the bite, he even puts the fork down and claps for himself.

My big boy. :)

Confessions of a shopaholic

OK here goes...

Everyone has an obsession that wills them to spend an ungodly amount of time, money, or whatever on.  For some it's cars.  For some it's purses.  Mine? Aden and Anais muslin baby blankets.

If you're a mom and you haven't heard of Aden and Anais yet...run.  Or you too, will get sucked in.

When AJ was born, I had the one set of Aden and Anais blankets that I received as a shower gift. Stand set of muslin swaddles by the Target line.  Nothing fancy, it did its job.  Then, one day, out of sheer boredom (yes, a very rare moment as a new mom), I ventured onto a Facebook B/S/T site that sold boutique baby stuff.  To be honest, I can't even remember what I was looking for.  I'm pretty sure part of me was just curious why someone would spend SO much money buying something for a baby.  

Then one day, out of sheer curiosity of how the "boutique" line was different from the Target line, I bought one.

...uh oh.

Now, I live in a world of HTFs (hard-to-find patterns), customs (you can sew multiple swaddles together to make layered blankets), and soooooo much more.  

In just 6 short months,  my collection has grown to 7 swaddles (including the original 4 I had), 1 cozy (a two-layer hard to find blanket), 4 burpy bibs, 6 snap bibs, 3 4-layer sleep sacks, and one dream blanket (a four-layer muslin blanket).  That's not including the gazillions of baby shower and baby gifts I've bought from this brand...  What's funny is, that's "nothing" compared to the ladies of that B/S/T page I mentioned (one of them took a stash shot of her stuff, it's an entire bookshelf full).  

I just bought another swaddle today. I stopped swaddling my son 6 months ago.  BUT, they're soooo versatile, you can use them as nursing covers, blankets, burp cloths, shawls, blah blah blah blah blah....

Do I have a problem? Yes.  Definitely.