CIO Night 1 Continued

Oh my. What a night.

After crying himself to sleep (30 minutes of crying), he then woke up at 2 AM (4.5 hours later) and cried 40 minutes.  This was certainly one of the hardest moments of my career as a rookie mom. 40 minutes, I listened to him cry on the other side of the wall, knowing that he was standing, holding on to the rail, looking for mommy.  I must have debated with myself perhaps 47 times whether or not go to in and comfort him.  Part of me wondered if he was hungry.  Part of me wondered if he wasn't right for CIO.  Most of me was just dead tired and wanted this over with.  It took every last ounce of willpower not to go in to his room.  He cried for 40 minutes.  And fell asleep within the hour.

I thought it was over. Why? I had friends who had experiences that led me to believe that after a healthy crying session like that, they'd just pass out for the night (mind you, I was very conveniently ignoring the fact that he JUST woke up on his own after 4.5 hours of sleep, after 30 minutes of nightmarish CIO!)

Silly me.

4:32 AM. This time, I succumbed to my soft mothering instincts and decided to nurse him.  He was indeed hungry and feasted.  When he was done, I knew that his needs were met, so gently laid him down in his crib to sleep. Of course, he cried and cried after I left the room and shut the door.  For how long this time? I have no idea.  I gave up sleeping in our room and migrated to the living room, which is much farther away.  I drifted off to sleep and by the time I had to wake up (less than 2 hours later), he was sound asleep again. (so obviously not 2 hours, ha!).

I went to work like a zombie today, but surprisingly, my 8 hour work meeting forced me to stay focused.  I did miss my son terribly though.  There's something very special about cuddling  a sleeping infant.  I missed it terribly and wanted to come home, even if it meant facing an angry baby. The reality of coming home and dealing with chores though was another story. I did get wonderful encouragement from a friend at work today though.  CIO is tough, but it's a decent parenting lesson that we all need to learn.  There's never a good time for CIO, but the wrong time is probably waiting. I can't imagine doing this if AJ was able to call out my name and beg.  It's tough, but when I'm on the other side, I'll be so proud of myself.

He cried for 7 minutes tonight, and fell asleep after 20 minutes.  I'm hoping this is an indication that tonight will go better.

CIO Night 1

Yeah, no.

All that crap I said the night before about this too shall pass?  Yeah, I threw that out the window tonight.  After the measly...3? hours of sleep from last night (about 2 of those spent in the rocking chair).  And this is after an hour of labor-intensive go the F*** to sleep soothing (not me, my husband did that. But still, he's on my team so that counts).

That couple with just...other things that was really questioning my being a good mother.

We decided to do it.

Cry. It. Out.

Let's start by what cry it out is.  It's exactly what you think it is.  Letting your baby cry to exhaustion.  The first night is the worst. But then it gets better.  Night two should be less crying.  Night three should be less time spent crying, etc etc etc. Some people do a modified version by going in to "check" on the baby every few minutes, going longer each time.  For us, especially with seperation anxiety being such a problem, we elected just to leave him alone.

So when the time came (8:27 PM today), I nursed him, kissed him goodnight, set him in the crib, shut the door, and left.

IT WAS HARD.

I had to go downstairs and do chores to distract myself, then go upstairs to shower.  My mom called me and I talked to her for a while.  Then I showered.  I couldn't bear looking at the monitor. Cause I I'd find is AJ standing there, holding the rail, crying his face off, looking for his mommy. It took 30 minutes for him to stop crying.

Then this happened.

He sat like that for 17 minutes resisting sleep before he finally fell over and passed out.

WE WIN.

Staring sleep regression right in the eyes

Late entry. This post was started on 1/28/14. 

Yawn.  Yup, that about describes my week...or two...or three.

We've sleep-regressed before, my little AJ, but not like this one.  This one is coupled with BAD separation anxiety and waking up at 4 AM, not wanting to go back to sleep.

Again, it makes sense... this son of mine learned to crawl, pull up, walk assisted, and sit up by himself pretty much in a span of a week or so.  And since then. he's been hitting the communication and social/personal milestones almost daily.  There's a LOT going on in his little brain.

I gotta keep telling myself that.  This sleeplessness shall pass.  It shall.  Right now, it's all about getting through the nights, not second-guessing myself or any of this.  It shall pass. It shall.

Speaking of things that shall/shall not pass.  I discovered this at approximately 9:40 AM on Sesame Streets. Lord of the Crumbs.  Genius.

What baby proofing means to us...

After AJ discovered he could move, he QUICKLY learned that the entire house was his playground.
Oh shit.


No, literally.

The dog is no longer safe either.

Needless to say, baby proofing is no longer an option.  

So, what exactly did we do?

1. We got rid of the bar stools. They were too easy to knock down.  After dismantling it, M realized that we'd be putting 'em away for years probably (by the time we're ready to take them out, I'm sure we're near, or God forbid, already have a second one).  So instead of storing them, M sold them on CL for $60 bucks.  YAY.  We'll get new ones when we're finally ready to have some again.

2. Ugly gates.  Yup, cause nothing else fits our stairwell (apparently the top and bottom are different sizes too). UGH.  I cannot open and close these bastards without making a huge ruckus.  So instead, I opt to hop them every morning to avoid waking up the slumbering baby.

3. Rearranged our living room. To be honest, this has nothing to do with baby-proofing.  Just makes more sense this way.  Baby has so much more room to crawl and play, and couches to pull onto.







4. No more ottoman. And again, the couch is gone too.  So basically baby proofing to us means removing things from our home.  lol. Oh well, more space for little man to play.

5. Moved to eat at our informal glass dining room table. Cause you know.  Sweet potato ain't easy to clean off carpet.  OK, not really a safety thing.  But still an adjustment for us.








6. Put squishy foamy tape around all the corners. Yeah this is actually pretty cool. No more head bonking for little man. I love this stuff because you can actually cut the pieces to fit the furniture you have.  We still need to do our glass table and dining room table.  Prince Lionhart table corners

7. Outlet covers.  We originally had the real simple ones that you stick in the socket to simply cover it.  After losing a bunch of them (when mommy brain takes over, you misplace a lot of things), we decided we needed a better solution.  These covers are awesome.  You never lose them, and it turns into a functional wall socket with just a little push.














Yeah, so I realize that none of these things address the dog house issue or the diaper pail issue.

Oh well.  When you run on 3-4 hours of sleep a day, you takes things a little bit at a time.

Ciao!

Independence

Over about 2 days, AJ has started to REFUSE spoon feeding.  Well by me and my husband anyway.  He will not eat unless it's either a new puree or solids that he can pick up with his own fingers.

Wow.  My boy is growing up :)

9 Month Memorables:

Week 1
Crawling but more like army crawling
Can stand several minutes if holding onto something

Week 2
Two front teeth cut through
Crawling with belly off ground

Week 3
Pulls to standing independently
Stand in his crib
Convert from crawling back down to sitting

Week 4
Walking sideways when holding onto ledges (very small distances) by himself
Crawls quickly
Clapping (not yet on command)

Baby's first vacation part I

We're back from a one week trip to Maui!

This is going to be a multi-part post.  Part 1 will focus on the flights.

Let me start by saying that in preparation of this trip, I had A LOT of anxiety about how AJ would do on the plane.  I heard  A LOT of things.  Good stories, bad stories, good advice, bad advice, advice that didn't make any sense unless you had that baby, you get the drift.  I will tell you exactly what I did on the two flights (our own experience), but I will tell you upfront a summary of what I learned.

1.  Don't assume that your baby always behaves the same on flights.  Just because your baby was good/bad on one flight doesn't predict ANYTHING about future flights.  I found that how things go depend a lot on how well baby is rested, how well you are rested, how well flying corresponds with nap time, how hungry baby is, how nice the flight crew is, how cooperative/uncooperative the neighbors are, how many other screaming babies/kids are on board, how much turbulence there is, etc etc etc.  You get the drift.  It is different EVERY TIME.  Much like how your own experience flying probably varies every time you fly.

2.  Let the expectations go.  Your baby will probably cry.  Babies cry.

3. Your flight is a tiny tiny tiny part of your trip.  Try to keep your eyes on the prize.

4.  Pack light with your carry ons.  Most of the time, I'm a huge fan of being over-prepared.  But let me tell you...when you feel like you desperately need something and spend 5 minutes digging into your 20 lb diaper bag at your feet (with a huge blanket, nursing cover, and bottle attached to the outside of it), you feel like an idiot. Both because your baby won't stop crying and also because your hand just tangled your nursing necklace and dipped into baby food at the same time.  And oh, when the seatbelt light is on, you can't really get into the overhead bins either.  Then you're SOL if something's up there.  Lesson learned.  PACK LIGHT.

5. Now's the time to pull out all the stops to the toys.  New stuff is good.  Cheap stuff from the Target dollar bin is good.  Airplane stuff is also good.  AJ played with the bag of nuts, the cup, the ice that came with our drink, the spoon, the inflight magazine, the puke bag, you name it.  I don't care if you're anti-TV. If the screen keeps cooped up little man interested for a mere 10 minutes, well that's 10 minutes less of you needing a game plan.

So there, a summary of the most important lessons I learned.  OK number 2 was something I learned well before, but found that lesson handy :)

So here is it, how our plan rides went.

We looked at direct nonstop PDX --> OGG  only (didn't want to deal with any layovers).
We specifically avoided late night flights (I can't rest well in planes).
We booked a window and an aisle seat near the back of the plane (where we could easily access the restroom and also the area in the back where you can walk around). The hopes was that no one would book a middle seat seeing that the aisle and window as taken.  More on that later.  Note: the very back aisle is not a great idea (IMO) because you can't recline it.

1/6/14 PDX to OGG, Alaska Airlines (5 hours 45 minutes)
Check-in/security:  Easy.  Car seats fly free, so we checked it in.  We have a convertible carseat that is a little bit of a bitch to install, so I wasn't interested in trying to bring it on board with us even if the middle seat was open (I'm not interested in your argument about carseat safety on planes.  This is my blog, please respect that I do not want to discuss this issue). I strolled AJ to the security checkpoint, and then after taking him out for security reasons, put him in my Beco carrier afterwards, then used the stroller to lug our crap around.  Easy peasy.
Prior to boarding: changed AJ's diaper
Boarding: we did family boarding (priority boarding).  I have mixed feelings about this being helpful.  You get more time to put stuff away...but it's also more time to have to deal with your child being in a small place.  We actually split up, my husband boarded first, to put everything in its spot and also tried to negotiate with the person sitting in between us to move, if possible.  Turns out, the plane was full, so we were SOL on the moving.  At the very least, we offered her the widow seat instead.  She was happy to take it.  We also offered her some earplugs, in case AJ got fussy.  She was actually very nice and plenty entertained by AJ.
Flight: AJ surprised us by taking 2 solid 1.5 hour naps!  So effectively, he was asleep for half the flight.  He was already asleep when we were taxi-ing, and I had some anxiety about his ears popping, but he didn't even notice the ascent.  All around he was a happy boy.  He played with pretty much everything we found in the seat pocket, our food items,  cups, ice, and his own toys too.  Having his favorite foods around was also very helpful, as it  served as an excellent distraction when he was starting to get bored.  I brought my friend's travel Boppy along with me, which made nap time very simple and easy.  I've heard thought that the Travel Boppy is only useful if you are a heavy utilizer of the regular Boppy at home.  Well, we're Boppy fans, so I guess that made sense.  He started getting a little bit fussy towards the descent, so I breastfed him.  He seemed content at that.  Breastfeeding on the flight was pretty simple.  Privacy was not really a big issue, as I had my nursing cover.  We also did some walking up and down the aisle, just to mix it up.  But even without that, I think we could have done fine.
In hindsight: oh boy this is embarrassing, but I WAY overpacked. My "carry-on" items consisted of my diaper bag, the Travel Boppy, my coat, a blanket, a portable changing station, and the Beco carrier. My diaper bag was filled to the max with food, toys, wipes, diapers, more diapers, a sippy cup, 5 Indestructible books, one big board book, 5 binkies, 2 binky straps, 2 changes of outfits, a nursing cover, a bottle of Tylenol, a bottle of Benadryl, 5 bibs, and about 15 small toys.  WHAT WAS I THINKING?!?!?! Like I said, there was so much stuff that I couldn't even move my feet when I was sitting!  It an absolute nightmare trying to get stuff out of that bag!  In reality, all we used was the pillow, the change pack, 1 Indestructible, 1 binky, the nursing cover, one small tangerine, and maybe like 3-4 of the toys.  Heed my warning.  PACK LIGHT.  Because yeah, even if you make it off the plane, you still gotta lug that SOB around with you!

1/11/14 OGG --> PDX Alaska Airlines (5 hours 10 minutes)
Check-in: easy, almost exactly the same as last time.  This time, I did have 3 ounces of breastmilk with me.  I just took it out, showed it to them, and they were fine with it.  It did go through the x-ray machine though.  I don't really have a problem with that.
Before boarding: changed AJ's diaper but he peed all over himself.  The changing pad was unstable in the bathroom.  And the line was super long, so we ended up getting to the terminal a little later than I wanted. In hindsight, I should have known this was a bad start.
Boarding: a little bit trickier this time, since we boarded later than family boarding.  Apparently, when you don't get onto the plane early, you get ignored as being a family with a young child, at least that's how I saw it.  I'm saying this grudgingly, because I really was irritated throughout the flight, but seriously, the flight crew paid extra attention to help other families, but treated my child like he was an elephant in a room.  Upon arriving at our aisle, we noticed there was a young girl sitting in the aisle.  Myron nicely asked if she'd like the window seat (keeping in mind now, that this particular passenger's seat is supposed to be the middle seat).  A F/A quickly stepped in and informed us that we needed to sit in the middle and the window seat, because she needs to get to her mother. Unless another passenger was willing to trade her seat to get closer to her mother (which they were working very hard on doing).  Irritated. Fine. Whatever.  Non-cooperation gets you kicked off a plane, so whatever.  They finally found someone to trade, but promised her the aisle seat.  HELLO!  THAT IS MY FUCKING SEAT YOU TRADED.  IRRITATED. She really preferred the aisle seat, but luckily, she was a grandmother who recognized my desperate look.  She agreed to sit at the window.  She turned out to be quite a nice lady actually.
Flight: More on the flight crew, because I loved them so much.  Not sure what it was, maybe a "Friday" for them? There was a lot of goofing off, chatting with other F/A's, not much help at all.  Every time they came by, they avoided eye contact with me.  Snarky remarks and laughter about hitting my baby's face when they rolled their beverage cart by.  Every time I tried to get up to soothe my child, they approached me to ask if I "wanted to get back to my seat."  No, I don't.  That's why I got up.  Eventually, the turbulence got to me, and I got really really REALLY sick towards the end.  Again, F/A's not helpful. Passed by, giggling, chatting with each other, never asking if I needed help. I ended up throwing up on the plane because I was so sick (glad I knew where the bag was).  Again, no F/A noticed, cared, helped, whatever.  My baby ended up doing alright.  He was noticeably fussier on this flight, but probably due to a number of things.  But me?  That was the worst flight ever in my life.  Makes me never want to fly Alaska again. I doubt that's actually going to happen, but just how I felt about this particular crew.  Gives me nausea thinking about how bad it was.

That's all. Our first flight experiences. yay.

De Quervains part 2

A few weeks ago, I was diagnosed with de Quervain's syndrome of the left hand.   I was put into a splint that immobilizes the thumb, in how's that rest would fix the problem (it's really the only true fix).

It did not get better. Why? Because you try not using your thumb for four weeks when you have an eight month old turkey-sized crawling infant. Go ahead. Try me. My neighbor Mike, whose son is five weeks younger than my son, had the same problem. He also tried the splint, but as one wrist was improving, the stain was offset onto his other wrist... So he ended up with two De Quervain'd wrists. Yeah. No good. Later that works Myron's aunt told me the same thing, to seriously consider the shots.

I realized quickly that I had no way to win. I mean I could wait it out... And ruin both wrists. There's never going to be a time when I can really rest these poor wrists ever again... So there. I scheduled an injection the day before leaving to vacation. Going in I had no expectations. Just a lot of hope that my quality of life would get a little bit better.

Oh. My. god. Best decision of my parenting career. I will say, the procedure is very freaky, so don't watch (3.5 ml of fluid going into a small part of your wrist!) It hurts like hell for a few days ( again because of the swelling and the giant needle), but now it's SOOOO much better! I still wear a brace occasionally because I don't want to mess it up, but glad this happened before my vacation. Now I can enjoy!