I did it, I left my two kids again!
This time, to attend/host a baby shower for my dear friend from mom's group who'd moved out to the other side of the state (she was in town for a wedding). Because she's the last one in the group to have a 2.0, naturally none of us really wanted to host and cook for the occasion. So we went out and had a nice night out, complete with happy hour.
IT WAS A BLAST!
I don't remember having had this much fun for a long time! I mean - we spent the majority of the evening talking about our kids and commiserating about parenthood with two small ones, but man it was so much fun and so good for the mama spirit.
Traditionally, in our mom's group, we ALWAYS do a craft along with food for a baby shower. Because this was at a restaurant, crafting was sort of out of question...sort of. I put my creative hat on and pulled together a quick craft. I bought a pack of diapers and brought some sharpies. I bought a cute beach-themed box I found at Home Goods to keep the diapers. I had each of us write an inspirational message for mama to read during those late night diaper changes. I told her that even though we're far away, we wanted to show her that we're still with here, even at those late night changes. It was a hit! We even saved a few for her older son to decorate.
What a night.
Also, tonight was the first time M had to take care of the two kids alone - and put them to bed too, not an easy feat, even with 2.0 (the most laid back baby ever). At first, his mom (who was over for dinner) insisted on staying, but he kicked her out and made her go home (wow, proud of him!). He then played in the park with both kids, then bathed and put the big one to bed, fed the little one, played with the little one, and got him asleep all before I got home too.
This mama is in heaven right now.
Oh, and I just bought two pairs of buttery leggings for myself. Life is goooooood right now.
Thursday, August 18, 2016
Tuesday, August 16, 2016
Parents' night out
We did it!
With the great help of four of our best friends, we were able to make it out to our cousin's wedding this weekend without kids!
With the great help of four of our best friends, we were able to make it out to our cousin's wedding this weekend without kids!
5 hours without kids! You couldn't even tell that we're running on 4 hours of sleep here!
The story of 4 sitters. There was one at first, our dear friend who took the day off to come watch my kids (thanks, K). Then, another friend with a 3 month old baby was recruited to come play/watch the kids. Then, another friend decided to come, and bring Popeyes for dinner. And finally, K's husband, E also came after his shift, what a trooper.
I will not lie, I had a LOT of anxiety leading up to leaving my two kids with my friends. Sadly, NOT because I was apprehensive about leaving my baby for the first time (2.0's are awesome like that). The anxiety stems from the hellish tantrum phase that my AJ is going through right now (more to follow, in what is probably going to be a multi-part series in the next few days about this). He's seriously CRAZY right now. I learned after returning home for the night that he'd learned to call one of aunties "nasty nasty." and he also told her to go die when she asked for some of his mac and cheese. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
It's late so I'm out, but promise, more to follow on AJ's craziness....
Wednesday, August 3, 2016
Metamorphosis
It's been a long two weeks, to say the least. Something was always going down in our house - if not the hubby being ill, then the big boy. If not them, then me. Of course, all while this was happening, little 2.0 went through what seemed like a 2 week-long sleep regression and growth spurt.
Don't get me wrong, 2.0 is a very laid back child. But going from sleeping 3-4 hour stretches at night back down to 1-2 hours at a time can be very trying, even if he's not crying when he wakes.
Last night was particularly trying. I had a 2-day long headache I was dealing with. 2.0 was recovering from his 2 month shots, so he was particularly vocal about his discomfort. He woke up almost every hour on the dot. Not to eat though. Just to snuggle and get my company. Though, when it was happening, I had no idea that he was not eating, so really, it was him getting snuggles and my boob leaking all over the place while I held him and slept in the rocker in his room.
I can't count the number of times I feel asleep like that last night... and the nights before that in the last 2 weeks.
Luckily, as a second time mama, I remembered that when times are tough, and it feels like we're in the midst of a giant storm, there always seems to be a reward at the end of the stormy period. I knew 2.0 was working on developing something awesome. I just didn't know what it was just yet.
Today, that something happened.
He SMILED for the first time!
Happy 2 month birthday, 2.0, my sweet sweet sweet boy.
2.0's 2 month stats:
height: 24 inches
weight: 13 lbs 12 oz
skills: smiles!
Don't get me wrong, 2.0 is a very laid back child. But going from sleeping 3-4 hour stretches at night back down to 1-2 hours at a time can be very trying, even if he's not crying when he wakes.
Last night was particularly trying. I had a 2-day long headache I was dealing with. 2.0 was recovering from his 2 month shots, so he was particularly vocal about his discomfort. He woke up almost every hour on the dot. Not to eat though. Just to snuggle and get my company. Though, when it was happening, I had no idea that he was not eating, so really, it was him getting snuggles and my boob leaking all over the place while I held him and slept in the rocker in his room.
I can't count the number of times I feel asleep like that last night... and the nights before that in the last 2 weeks.
Luckily, as a second time mama, I remembered that when times are tough, and it feels like we're in the midst of a giant storm, there always seems to be a reward at the end of the stormy period. I knew 2.0 was working on developing something awesome. I just didn't know what it was just yet.
Today, that something happened.
He SMILED for the first time!
Happy 2 month birthday, 2.0, my sweet sweet sweet boy.
2.0's 2 month stats:
height: 24 inches
weight: 13 lbs 12 oz
skills: smiles!
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
Addendum to week of mommy firsts
I knew I penned the last post too quickly.
So the day after my last post, as I was quietly triumphing over my mommy first victories, something was quietly brewing in my house.
The FRICKIN' cold.
Yes, that's right. It's friggin' summer time and the cold is still making its way around daycare. What. The. Fuck.
On Thursday after naptime, I found a very lethargic AJ burning up a 102 degree fever. He had a decent appetite but told me everything was either spicy or sour (I later figured out that this was his way of telling me he had a sore throat). We cancelled daycare for Friday, and I babied him all day long (along with the real baby of course). By Friday though, I was 96 hours in to being super mommy without too much help, and it was starting to really wear on me. Then of course, I got sick too. Sigh.
Naptime after naptime. 102 degrees in this picture :(
Too tired to play. Except he wanted to play still. Mommy always comes through.
Sick, but not too sick for snuggles with baby brother.
Naptime with two...AJ on the couch, and 2.0 in a carrier.
FINALLY.
Well, that was all last week. The weekend came and he got a lot better with a little more rest. It took me til Monday though to recover fully (the first day where AJ and daddy were both out of the house).
Onwards!
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Week of mommy firsts
This week, courtesy of whatever stomach virus is in season, M has been completely out of commission. He's on hour 40 of the stomach flu and turned the corner this morning, after a horrific 24 hours of fluids coming out of every which direction. But I'll spare you the details.
Anyways, because of this lovely surprise, I'm caring for 4 this week on my own. The hubby, the big one, the little one, and the dog. I should be overwhelmed and re-thinking my decision to not drink, despite my alcohol allergy, but instead, I'm actually on a little bit of a high. Here's why: I accomplished some unexpected mommy firsts this week!
Mommy first: out with two
This was actually planned. Our preschool has weekly meet-ups for playdates in the park during the summer season. Yesterday's happened to be at a splash pad not too far from home. I fed baby at 9 AM, threw everything in the car including both kids and was out the door at 9:30. We stopped by the coffee cart to grab my usual poison of choice: iced vanilla soy latte, and then made a bee line for the splash pad. Only one of our friends showed up and AJ ultimately only lasted 20 minutes in the water, but whatever, I'm not complaining. We then headed over to the toy store and picked up a couple of items and played with trains to waste another half hour. Then we went to pick up medicine and Pedialyte for daddy. All in all, the outing was a total success!
Mommy first: dropping AJ off at preschool
OK confession time. I've NEVER dropped AJ off at preschool (daycare) before. With AJ's history of separation anxiety, neither of us had it in our hearts to give me drop-off duty. So I've always done pick-up duty. Today however, there really wasn't another option, since M was still pretty weak. Luckily, AJ woke up in a good mood today and actually enjoyed our walk down to school together. I decided to walk the dog also, to kill two birds with one stone - all while carrying the sleeping baby. Saying good-bye wasn't bad either - he saw his friends and his eyes lit up. He then hugged me and literally shoved me out the door! I looked back, proud that my three year old has become so independent...for today at least.
All in all, even though my sleep is ruined, and I'm tired to the bone from taking care of 4 babies, I'm super proud, for surviving thus far, in this unexpected week of mommy firsts.
Anyways, because of this lovely surprise, I'm caring for 4 this week on my own. The hubby, the big one, the little one, and the dog. I should be overwhelmed and re-thinking my decision to not drink, despite my alcohol allergy, but instead, I'm actually on a little bit of a high. Here's why: I accomplished some unexpected mommy firsts this week!
Mommy first: out with two
This was actually planned. Our preschool has weekly meet-ups for playdates in the park during the summer season. Yesterday's happened to be at a splash pad not too far from home. I fed baby at 9 AM, threw everything in the car including both kids and was out the door at 9:30. We stopped by the coffee cart to grab my usual poison of choice: iced vanilla soy latte, and then made a bee line for the splash pad. Only one of our friends showed up and AJ ultimately only lasted 20 minutes in the water, but whatever, I'm not complaining. We then headed over to the toy store and picked up a couple of items and played with trains to waste another half hour. Then we went to pick up medicine and Pedialyte for daddy. All in all, the outing was a total success!
Mommy first: dog/toddler/baby evening stroll
By evening, it was fairly obvious that M was not well enough to be on his feet yet. In fact, moving around a bit made him nauseated, so he spent the entire day on the downstairs couch. So I packed up the baby, the dog, and tricked the toddler into going on a walk with us (I told him that if he comes with me, he gets to catch Pokemon). All in all, it was a successful trip. AJ ended up being kind of mad that we didn't stay out longer. But dude, it's 8:30 PM on a school night, and you're friggin' 3 years old. So no.
this picture is completely unrelated, but super cute, so...
Mommy first: putting two kids to bed on my own
When we got home, it was clear to me that the bedtime routine was going to be all me too. So I went for it. I prepped it all with baby in the carrier. Then, I let baby play on his own while I bathed AJ and read him his (ridiculously long) bedtime stories and tucked him in. I didn't think this was going to go well, but really, it wasn't so bad. So 2.0 cried a little bit in the crib when he wasn't attended to right away. 2.0's unfortunately get to experience that kind of thing. In the end, everyone went to bed just fine so I win still.Mommy first: dropping AJ off at preschool
OK confession time. I've NEVER dropped AJ off at preschool (daycare) before. With AJ's history of separation anxiety, neither of us had it in our hearts to give me drop-off duty. So I've always done pick-up duty. Today however, there really wasn't another option, since M was still pretty weak. Luckily, AJ woke up in a good mood today and actually enjoyed our walk down to school together. I decided to walk the dog also, to kill two birds with one stone - all while carrying the sleeping baby. Saying good-bye wasn't bad either - he saw his friends and his eyes lit up. He then hugged me and literally shoved me out the door! I looked back, proud that my three year old has become so independent...for today at least.
All in all, even though my sleep is ruined, and I'm tired to the bone from taking care of 4 babies, I'm super proud, for surviving thus far, in this unexpected week of mommy firsts.
Thursday, July 14, 2016
Sibling Distraction Series: Quiet time boxes
I got this idea from Pinterest, but I also heard that other parents have had success with it, so I decided to make some.
Quiet boxes. Shoe boxes full of little toys (they can be cheap ones, old ones that are recycled, or really just anything that fits into the box). The idea is to keep a few items inside the box and have a few boxes to rotate in and out so the toddler is always intrigued with the contents.
I made 5 boxes (for rotation). Most of the items were from either our house or from the Target dollar bin. Each box contains 1-2 board books (from home, I have a huge stock to rotate from), 1 game or toy, 1 set of flashcards, 1 small puzzle, 1 Groovebook (mini photo album).
We tested out the first box today, which consisted of these items:
It was a huge hit! AJ loved the felt money set (which comes with a little felt wallet) from the Target dollar bin. He went straight into sorting the money and then stuffing all his cash into his backpack to prepare for a shopping trip. He ended up paying 100 bucks for a bagel, a few plastic fruits, and a cookie. He only paid up though, when I politely informed him that if he didn't give me some money, that constitutes stealing, and I'd have to have him arrested. He asked if the police were coming, then quickly handed me the $100 bill. Smart kid.
He also took his time with the alphabet puzzle and the board book before bopping along to his next activity (mama, can I play outside in the water?). Whatevs the kit bought me half an hour of quiet time :)
Total cost of 5 filled quiet boxes (including a 5-pack of the shoe box tupperwares): 28 bucks. It can definitely be made for less if you're recycling more toys at home, or if you're wanting to find cheapo versions for parts of it (shoe boxes can be actual cardboard shoe boxes, for example).
Quiet boxes. Shoe boxes full of little toys (they can be cheap ones, old ones that are recycled, or really just anything that fits into the box). The idea is to keep a few items inside the box and have a few boxes to rotate in and out so the toddler is always intrigued with the contents.
I made 5 boxes (for rotation). Most of the items were from either our house or from the Target dollar bin. Each box contains 1-2 board books (from home, I have a huge stock to rotate from), 1 game or toy, 1 set of flashcards, 1 small puzzle, 1 Groovebook (mini photo album).
We tested out the first box today, which consisted of these items:
It was a huge hit! AJ loved the felt money set (which comes with a little felt wallet) from the Target dollar bin. He went straight into sorting the money and then stuffing all his cash into his backpack to prepare for a shopping trip. He ended up paying 100 bucks for a bagel, a few plastic fruits, and a cookie. He only paid up though, when I politely informed him that if he didn't give me some money, that constitutes stealing, and I'd have to have him arrested. He asked if the police were coming, then quickly handed me the $100 bill. Smart kid.
He also took his time with the alphabet puzzle and the board book before bopping along to his next activity (mama, can I play outside in the water?). Whatevs the kit bought me half an hour of quiet time :)
Total cost of 5 filled quiet boxes (including a 5-pack of the shoe box tupperwares): 28 bucks. It can definitely be made for less if you're recycling more toys at home, or if you're wanting to find cheapo versions for parts of it (shoe boxes can be actual cardboard shoe boxes, for example).
Tuesday, July 12, 2016
My first real day with two
Because of the July 4th holiday, my MIL volunteering to come over once weekly to help, and our existing daycare situation with AJ, I've gotten myself down to really only being alone with two kids once a week.
That first day was today.
Not gonna lie, I had a lot of anxiety thinking about how to prepare for today - so we did test runs of naptimes (M went out for groceries one Sunday leaving me alone with two during nap time). I had lists upon lists of sibling distraction ideas to keep AJ entertained in case things went terribly.
In the end, today actually went really well. Here's how it went.
6:45 AM: I get up, feed 2.0 and put him in the bassinet while I get AJ dressed. Then I quickly brush my teeth and put on clean clothes. AJ requests that I get little brother and place them together in the crib. I think this is the cutest thing ever and comply. Meanwhile, M has already hopped on his twice weekly conference call to Poland. I'm secretly already proud that I managed to wrangle two and get both dressed and downstairs without interrupting the conference call.
7:30 AM: 2.0 is laying in his swing downstairs while AJ and I eat breakfast. Ham and Cheese Crossaintwiches that daddy made. A big hit.
8:15 AM: Daddy is back from walking the dog and heading out the door as 2.0 starts screaming his head off, starving apparently. I proceed to unbuckle him, but the buckle is STUCK. LIKE STUCK. I panic and push and push and push the release button, my pincher fingers turning purple from overuse. By now, the baby is screaming at the top of his lungs which of course, has alerted the toddler, who is now tugging at the swing like a madman. I desperately will the buckle to open up, so I don't have to call the husband right back to help me...so I don't have to look like a fool within the first five minutes of being left alone with two. Another wave of panic passes through, and now I'm imagining cutting the damn belt off the baby. So I give up and call the husband back....who fixes the damn buckle in 1.5 seconds. Sheepishly, I say goodbye to him, and make myself promise not to call again til at least mid-day, so I don't look like an absolute fool. I proceed to feed the baby. The toddler is bored so I ask him to do his favorite Thomas puzzle on the floor next to me. He complies.
8:45 AM: Baby is well awake now, after a string of massive burps and poops, so I lay him on a blanket on the ground to play next to AJ. AJ insists we get all the pillows and blankets from upstairs and lay together to take selfies. So we do. Afterwards, he wants to play with trains, so I move baby and blanket to the other room, and trains it is.
9:30 AM: Our friends come over for a pre-planned playdate I arranged (tip I received about keeping mornings busy with two!). AJ plays with his buddies while the moms and I catch up. Playtime with two is something else. My 2.0 is still a sleeping baby so he was carried through much of it. But the other moms' 2.0's who were crawling/cruising...oh man. I make a mental note of what toys I'll need to put away once 2.0 gets mobile.
12 PM: AJ's friends go home, and he relishes in the quiet time, and toys all to himself. I feed 2.0, put him in the swing, and get ready for lunch.
12:30PM: lunch. Courtesy of my parents.
1:45 PM: I ask AJ not to pick his nose or he'll have a nosebleed. I tell him that I won't help him fix his nosebleed if he refuses to listen to me. He smirks and says OK.
1:47 PM: I'm peeing on the toilet and AJ shows me something red on his finger. "Mommy, look it, blood!" I look up to see that blood is (slowly) creeping out of his nose. Having been in the medical field for a number of years (sarcasm BTW, I'm a pharmacist), I conclude the nosebleed was very mild and likely not going to need too much intervention, so I capitalize on this as a teaching opportunity to make good on my promise. "I'm not fixing it, because I told you I wouldn't fix it if you didn't listen to me. Now you're just going to have to bleed to death." OK, pause. I've taught my 3 year old about death. Why? Because it's real. Because he has a grandma who is very sick and will someday die on him. Because that's a parental choice I've made and I'm comfortable with it. AJ is well aware of death. Un-pause. "NOOOOOOOO, mommy I don't want to die. Please help me fix it, I don't want to die!!!!!!" After a minute or so of this, he promises me he'll never again pick his nose if I help him not die. I stuff some toilet paper up his nose, and bring the roll with me into the baby's room, just in case I was wrong and the nosebleed does take a turn for the worse, while I'm nursing baby.
2 PM: I feed 2.0 again while reading AJ as many books as he pleases. I pull out all stops for this nursing session because i want to ensure that 2.0 gets as much hindmilk as possible - making chances for a longer nap greater. I read AJ a total of 4 verrrry long books. Then, I swaddle 2.0, put him in his pack and play in our room, and lay with AJ to sleep in our bed yes, he HAS to have me sleep next to him for naptime.
3:30 PM: baby stirs. I quickly grab him and pop him in bed next to me, careful to keep him on the side that AJ is not on. We all go back to sleep. AJ has no idea baby has joined us.
4:45PM: we all wake up and AJ wants to go downstairs - cause I promised TV if he's 1) nice to me all day and 2) takes a nap. I ask him if he wants to watch Thomas the Train, and instead, he requests the Deep Sea Creatures episode of Life. Weirdo. Whatever, science rocks.
5:45PM: hubby comes home with a reward for me! Bubble tea! He's proud of me for a successful day 1 with two.
That first day was today.
Not gonna lie, I had a lot of anxiety thinking about how to prepare for today - so we did test runs of naptimes (M went out for groceries one Sunday leaving me alone with two during nap time). I had lists upon lists of sibling distraction ideas to keep AJ entertained in case things went terribly.
In the end, today actually went really well. Here's how it went.
6:45 AM: I get up, feed 2.0 and put him in the bassinet while I get AJ dressed. Then I quickly brush my teeth and put on clean clothes. AJ requests that I get little brother and place them together in the crib. I think this is the cutest thing ever and comply. Meanwhile, M has already hopped on his twice weekly conference call to Poland. I'm secretly already proud that I managed to wrangle two and get both dressed and downstairs without interrupting the conference call.
7:30 AM: 2.0 is laying in his swing downstairs while AJ and I eat breakfast. Ham and Cheese Crossaintwiches that daddy made. A big hit.
8:15 AM: Daddy is back from walking the dog and heading out the door as 2.0 starts screaming his head off, starving apparently. I proceed to unbuckle him, but the buckle is STUCK. LIKE STUCK. I panic and push and push and push the release button, my pincher fingers turning purple from overuse. By now, the baby is screaming at the top of his lungs which of course, has alerted the toddler, who is now tugging at the swing like a madman. I desperately will the buckle to open up, so I don't have to call the husband right back to help me...so I don't have to look like a fool within the first five minutes of being left alone with two. Another wave of panic passes through, and now I'm imagining cutting the damn belt off the baby. So I give up and call the husband back....who fixes the damn buckle in 1.5 seconds. Sheepishly, I say goodbye to him, and make myself promise not to call again til at least mid-day, so I don't look like an absolute fool. I proceed to feed the baby. The toddler is bored so I ask him to do his favorite Thomas puzzle on the floor next to me. He complies.
8:45 AM: Baby is well awake now, after a string of massive burps and poops, so I lay him on a blanket on the ground to play next to AJ. AJ insists we get all the pillows and blankets from upstairs and lay together to take selfies. So we do. Afterwards, he wants to play with trains, so I move baby and blanket to the other room, and trains it is.
9:30 AM: Our friends come over for a pre-planned playdate I arranged (tip I received about keeping mornings busy with two!). AJ plays with his buddies while the moms and I catch up. Playtime with two is something else. My 2.0 is still a sleeping baby so he was carried through much of it. But the other moms' 2.0's who were crawling/cruising...oh man. I make a mental note of what toys I'll need to put away once 2.0 gets mobile.
12 PM: AJ's friends go home, and he relishes in the quiet time, and toys all to himself. I feed 2.0, put him in the swing, and get ready for lunch.
12:30PM: lunch. Courtesy of my parents.
1:45 PM: I ask AJ not to pick his nose or he'll have a nosebleed. I tell him that I won't help him fix his nosebleed if he refuses to listen to me. He smirks and says OK.
1:47 PM: I'm peeing on the toilet and AJ shows me something red on his finger. "Mommy, look it, blood!" I look up to see that blood is (slowly) creeping out of his nose. Having been in the medical field for a number of years (sarcasm BTW, I'm a pharmacist), I conclude the nosebleed was very mild and likely not going to need too much intervention, so I capitalize on this as a teaching opportunity to make good on my promise. "I'm not fixing it, because I told you I wouldn't fix it if you didn't listen to me. Now you're just going to have to bleed to death." OK, pause. I've taught my 3 year old about death. Why? Because it's real. Because he has a grandma who is very sick and will someday die on him. Because that's a parental choice I've made and I'm comfortable with it. AJ is well aware of death. Un-pause. "NOOOOOOOO, mommy I don't want to die. Please help me fix it, I don't want to die!!!!!!" After a minute or so of this, he promises me he'll never again pick his nose if I help him not die. I stuff some toilet paper up his nose, and bring the roll with me into the baby's room, just in case I was wrong and the nosebleed does take a turn for the worse, while I'm nursing baby.
2 PM: I feed 2.0 again while reading AJ as many books as he pleases. I pull out all stops for this nursing session because i want to ensure that 2.0 gets as much hindmilk as possible - making chances for a longer nap greater. I read AJ a total of 4 verrrry long books. Then, I swaddle 2.0, put him in his pack and play in our room, and lay with AJ to sleep in our bed yes, he HAS to have me sleep next to him for naptime.
3:30 PM: baby stirs. I quickly grab him and pop him in bed next to me, careful to keep him on the side that AJ is not on. We all go back to sleep. AJ has no idea baby has joined us.
4:45PM: we all wake up and AJ wants to go downstairs - cause I promised TV if he's 1) nice to me all day and 2) takes a nap. I ask him if he wants to watch Thomas the Train, and instead, he requests the Deep Sea Creatures episode of Life. Weirdo. Whatever, science rocks.
5:45PM: hubby comes home with a reward for me! Bubble tea! He's proud of me for a successful day 1 with two.
Thursday, July 7, 2016
What's cooking
M and I are both really into food. We love food. You know that debate, would you rather have food or sex? Can you guess which one I'd pick?
Anyway, food becomes complicated when babies arrive. You often forget, out of sheer exhaustion, to eat during the day. Throw in the needs of a toddler and forget about it... Wait, except you can't, cause said toddler will likely throw a massive tantrum that will ultimately end in you giving him exactly the kind of food that you refused to give him to start with. Yeah, been there, done that.
So two things are for sure: 1) you, your partner, your baby, and if you have one, your monster toddler, need to eat. 2) It needs to be easy.
My favorite ways to cheat at food, new-parent style:
1) Use a calendar
This is not really a cheat, just a necessary tool. Some people prefer a paper calendar at a "command center" in their kitchen. I'm all about digital. Either way, the key to success is planning. I'm not saying stick to the calendar 100%, but trust me, the calendar serves as a very useful tool - if not for grocery shopping, then at least for a fallback meal suggestion, if you don't have better ideas on the day of.
2) Do all the prep in one sitting, preferably at night when all the kids are sleeping
Pretty much a no-brainer here - get as much prepped as possible (if you intend to cook at all) the night before, so you're not fumbling that giant knife with toddler and baby nearby.
3) Take out (smarter that the usual stuff)
Duh. I particularly like the restaurants that offer healthy alternatives but have a rapid pick-up process. Two places come to mind: Chipotle and Panera. Skip the line and go straight for pick-up.
4) Get someone else to cook
Well, this isn't something you can sign up for. If you're blessed and have awesome friends and family, they MAY be willing to help you out a bit and cook a meal for you. If there's multiple parties interested, consider asking a friend to organize a meal train for you (mealtrain.com). I love this tool - it's essentially a shared calendar that allows you to schedule who comes to visit and when. It gives options for you to mark days you'll need food and set preferences, pretty much taking the guesswork out of the equation for your well-intentioned loved ones. Think of it as a registry, sort of.
5) Get someone else to cook (part 2)
Let's say you don't have friends and family willing to cook for you. Or maybe you're too shy to ask for help (this syndrome dies by baby #2, BTW). If you're willing to shell out a little bit of money, you may be able to find a local home chef business who you can order meals from. This is nothing like Blue Apron or Plated (we've tried both and enjoyed both but with highly recommend AGAINST doing this with a new baby...just too much work for not enough return), I'm talking literally pre-assembled meals that someone makes you. We go with a lady who lives nearby who goes by the name of Sue. She does small evens and things but also sells dinner packages to busy families. It's usual American fare (lasagna, pastas, casseroles, etc) that's not too fancy, but we like the convenience of simply popping a dish into a microwave and dinner magically appearing without much work.
6) Freeze it
Batch cooking is great for new parents. Lasagnas come to mind. Also, meats are great for freezing. We often bake a big thing of meat and freeze the leftovers. They are useful for making pasta sauces (think Ragus), stir fry dishes, and other possibilities.
7) Soup and noodle hack
This might be an Asian thing. It's tradition to drink a lot of chicken soup when you're postpartum in Asian cultures. As a result of this (and since both my mom and MIL insists), there's always a giant pot of chicken soup in my fridge. During my first postpartum stint, I ate the soup grudgingly, dreaming of going to a fancy sushi restaurant with my hubby and newbie instead. This time around? The soup is a friggin' Godsend. I see instant chicken noodle soup. Or gourmet ramen (add an egg). Or... well the possibilities are literally endless (especially since soup + noodles are always a win with my AJ).
8) Crockpot
One pot meals are the best. If I had a fave dish? I'd say it'd have to be anything pulled-pork related. It's so versatile - you can add cabbage and make it Hawaiian style! You can add BBQ sauce and make sliders! The secret is getting the right cut of meat - pork butt/shoulder is the cut you want, for making good pulled pork. That's the hardest thing, seriously, is just getting the pork. From there, it's putting it in the slow cooker, poking holes in the meat with a fork, adding a dash of liquid smoke and a sprinkle of sea salt, and turning the crockpot on - 4 hours high or 8 hours low. Bam. Meal.
Other ways to make sure you're eating:
http://orangelint.blogspot.com/2013/05/what-i-eat-to-survive-day-caring-for-my.html
Happy eating!
Anyway, food becomes complicated when babies arrive. You often forget, out of sheer exhaustion, to eat during the day. Throw in the needs of a toddler and forget about it... Wait, except you can't, cause said toddler will likely throw a massive tantrum that will ultimately end in you giving him exactly the kind of food that you refused to give him to start with. Yeah, been there, done that.
So two things are for sure: 1) you, your partner, your baby, and if you have one, your monster toddler, need to eat. 2) It needs to be easy.
My favorite ways to cheat at food, new-parent style:
1) Use a calendar
This is not really a cheat, just a necessary tool. Some people prefer a paper calendar at a "command center" in their kitchen. I'm all about digital. Either way, the key to success is planning. I'm not saying stick to the calendar 100%, but trust me, the calendar serves as a very useful tool - if not for grocery shopping, then at least for a fallback meal suggestion, if you don't have better ideas on the day of.
2) Do all the prep in one sitting, preferably at night when all the kids are sleeping
Pretty much a no-brainer here - get as much prepped as possible (if you intend to cook at all) the night before, so you're not fumbling that giant knife with toddler and baby nearby.
3) Take out (smarter that the usual stuff)
Duh. I particularly like the restaurants that offer healthy alternatives but have a rapid pick-up process. Two places come to mind: Chipotle and Panera. Skip the line and go straight for pick-up.
4) Get someone else to cook
Well, this isn't something you can sign up for. If you're blessed and have awesome friends and family, they MAY be willing to help you out a bit and cook a meal for you. If there's multiple parties interested, consider asking a friend to organize a meal train for you (mealtrain.com). I love this tool - it's essentially a shared calendar that allows you to schedule who comes to visit and when. It gives options for you to mark days you'll need food and set preferences, pretty much taking the guesswork out of the equation for your well-intentioned loved ones. Think of it as a registry, sort of.
5) Get someone else to cook (part 2)
Let's say you don't have friends and family willing to cook for you. Or maybe you're too shy to ask for help (this syndrome dies by baby #2, BTW). If you're willing to shell out a little bit of money, you may be able to find a local home chef business who you can order meals from. This is nothing like Blue Apron or Plated (we've tried both and enjoyed both but with highly recommend AGAINST doing this with a new baby...just too much work for not enough return), I'm talking literally pre-assembled meals that someone makes you. We go with a lady who lives nearby who goes by the name of Sue. She does small evens and things but also sells dinner packages to busy families. It's usual American fare (lasagna, pastas, casseroles, etc) that's not too fancy, but we like the convenience of simply popping a dish into a microwave and dinner magically appearing without much work.
6) Freeze it
Batch cooking is great for new parents. Lasagnas come to mind. Also, meats are great for freezing. We often bake a big thing of meat and freeze the leftovers. They are useful for making pasta sauces (think Ragus), stir fry dishes, and other possibilities.
7) Soup and noodle hack
This might be an Asian thing. It's tradition to drink a lot of chicken soup when you're postpartum in Asian cultures. As a result of this (and since both my mom and MIL insists), there's always a giant pot of chicken soup in my fridge. During my first postpartum stint, I ate the soup grudgingly, dreaming of going to a fancy sushi restaurant with my hubby and newbie instead. This time around? The soup is a friggin' Godsend. I see instant chicken noodle soup. Or gourmet ramen (add an egg). Or... well the possibilities are literally endless (especially since soup + noodles are always a win with my AJ).
8) Crockpot
One pot meals are the best. If I had a fave dish? I'd say it'd have to be anything pulled-pork related. It's so versatile - you can add cabbage and make it Hawaiian style! You can add BBQ sauce and make sliders! The secret is getting the right cut of meat - pork butt/shoulder is the cut you want, for making good pulled pork. That's the hardest thing, seriously, is just getting the pork. From there, it's putting it in the slow cooker, poking holes in the meat with a fork, adding a dash of liquid smoke and a sprinkle of sea salt, and turning the crockpot on - 4 hours high or 8 hours low. Bam. Meal.
Other ways to make sure you're eating:
http://orangelint.blogspot.com/2013/05/what-i-eat-to-survive-day-caring-for-my.html
Happy eating!
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
On my own
M went back to work on Friday. AJ started daycare 3 days a week this week. Which means... I'm on my own with baby 3 days a week!
I still distinctly remember the first week without M when AJ was born. I was swimming in fear. Seems silly now, to be scared of a baby, but that's the best way I could describe it. I was desperate for adult conversation (even on day one, 2 hours after M pulled out of the garage). I was nervous that I'd somehow screw things up. I was desperate not to be the only adult in charge. I really didn't think I could do it.
Looking back now, I probably let a little bit of postpartum illness go undiagnosed. BUT one great life decision did come out of my desperate longing for companionship during this time. That was the first day I attended moms' group - and went on to make some wonderful lasting friendships with other women going through the same thing.
I've always wondered how things would go, the second time around, when M goes back to work. Described in one word? No big deal. OK, that was 3 words. When M packed up and got in his car, I picked up the baby in one arm, balanced him on my hip, and said "bye bye daddy" while waving his chunky little arm. And that was that. Back to napping on the couch.
Still gonna plan to attend mom's group - maybe starting next week. :)
I still distinctly remember the first week without M when AJ was born. I was swimming in fear. Seems silly now, to be scared of a baby, but that's the best way I could describe it. I was desperate for adult conversation (even on day one, 2 hours after M pulled out of the garage). I was nervous that I'd somehow screw things up. I was desperate not to be the only adult in charge. I really didn't think I could do it.
Looking back now, I probably let a little bit of postpartum illness go undiagnosed. BUT one great life decision did come out of my desperate longing for companionship during this time. That was the first day I attended moms' group - and went on to make some wonderful lasting friendships with other women going through the same thing.
I've always wondered how things would go, the second time around, when M goes back to work. Described in one word? No big deal. OK, that was 3 words. When M packed up and got in his car, I picked up the baby in one arm, balanced him on my hip, and said "bye bye daddy" while waving his chunky little arm. And that was that. Back to napping on the couch.
Still gonna plan to attend mom's group - maybe starting next week. :)
Monday, June 27, 2016
Parenting with Number 2
Life with a newborn can be dark. Not like literally dark. Unless you're really holed up in your house cause you're terrified of leaving the home unprepared for fear of some sort of newborn disaster. (SPOILER ALERT, it gets even harder the older they are, so you might as well try now!)
I digress. Parenting can be dark sometimes. Why? Because there are a lot of times that are difficult as HECK. There's a lot of people who will give advice about leaning in, or really stopping and smelling the roses. Or truly appreciating the small things in life. Or whatever. Like saying those things are going to help me feel better in the moment about the toughest spots of parenting.
That's just not...me.
Humor. That's what makes parenting tolerable for me. A sense of humor. With that, I give you parenting with two anecdote #1.
I've been terrified since like...day 1 of 2.0's pregnancy about the thought of handling two kids around nap time. I still haven't, technically, handled nap time alone yet (M doesn't go back to work for another 3 days). So, why am I so terrified? Because AJ still naps with me. Yes, that's right. Naps WITH me, as in, he needs to cling on to a part of my body (with preference for both of my hands on him somewhere) before he will go down for his nap. There's rules. If he wakes up and I'm not there, blood murder ensues. If he wakes up and I'm there, he will immediately progress to a medium-sized tantrum, but will be consolable (it just takes about 3 minutes to de-escalate from ear-piercing scream back down to golden slumber). If done right now, AJ's nap time yields plentiful rewards - 3 hours of caregiver free time (again, tethered to him somehow, but hey, I only need 1 hand to operate my smartphone).
Now, with 2.0 in the mix I've had severe anxiety thinking about how to balance things. M and I have ruled out trying to teach AJ to nap alone - the kid is 3 and attends daycare 3 days a week. NOT worth it trying something new (and risking screwing it up) when most 3 YO's drop nap time soon anyway.
So here's our elaborate algorithm on how to handle naptime with two. Between hours 12-2PM, 2.0 will eventually need to breastfeed. Whenever that is, I'll feed him, swaddle him, and put him down in the pack and play in our room. Then I'll go downstairs to grab AJ and get him ready for nap in our bed (with me). With any luck (as in, if AJ is sleepy enough), he's go down without too much trouble, and there'll be a golden window of overlap between the two where I *may* just get a 20 minute nap in (that's ALL I NEED, I PROMISE!).
Don't be so surprised now, this elaborate plan has been, for the most part, working well. Til about 5 days ago, when both kiddos cried their heads off and no overlap existed. Good thing hubby was still home from work - he swooped baby away and napped with him in another room, offering me a delicious one hour nap.
Anyway, the day after that, I was determined to MAKE IT WORK. New edit to the algorithm: if baby woke up in the middle of the nap period, I'd take him, and immediately a) feed him or b) hold him and get back in bed to sleep, to ensure nap time progresses peacefully. This is exactly what I did on that day, except, one angry AJ also woke up during that time. I had 2.0 wrapped up in my left arm while sleeping in the bottom right corner of the bed, so I scooted up and offered my right arm to AJ, to offer some comfort. It was a super awkward position to sleep in, with about 1/3 of me dangling off the corner of the bed, but I bought myself peace, and I was proud of it. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep with a delicious smile on my face. I dreamed about something peaceful. Peaceful sights. Peaceful sounds. Peaceful smells. Wait. That doesn't smell peaceful. Smells familiar though...what does it smell like? Undigested chicken bits? Why is it getting stronger? I shot my eyes open and realized that the dog's butt was just a mere 2 inches away from my nose. DOG SHIT, that's what it smells like.
The worse part was, I could neither move (both arms occupied) nor shoo the dog away (risking that both babies will wake up). I couldn't even laugh about it cause that would wake them up too. So I silently laugh... and realize this. THIS. Is parenting, with number two.
I digress. Parenting can be dark sometimes. Why? Because there are a lot of times that are difficult as HECK. There's a lot of people who will give advice about leaning in, or really stopping and smelling the roses. Or truly appreciating the small things in life. Or whatever. Like saying those things are going to help me feel better in the moment about the toughest spots of parenting.
That's just not...me.
Humor. That's what makes parenting tolerable for me. A sense of humor. With that, I give you parenting with two anecdote #1.
I've been terrified since like...day 1 of 2.0's pregnancy about the thought of handling two kids around nap time. I still haven't, technically, handled nap time alone yet (M doesn't go back to work for another 3 days). So, why am I so terrified? Because AJ still naps with me. Yes, that's right. Naps WITH me, as in, he needs to cling on to a part of my body (with preference for both of my hands on him somewhere) before he will go down for his nap. There's rules. If he wakes up and I'm not there, blood murder ensues. If he wakes up and I'm there, he will immediately progress to a medium-sized tantrum, but will be consolable (it just takes about 3 minutes to de-escalate from ear-piercing scream back down to golden slumber). If done right now, AJ's nap time yields plentiful rewards - 3 hours of caregiver free time (again, tethered to him somehow, but hey, I only need 1 hand to operate my smartphone).
Now, with 2.0 in the mix I've had severe anxiety thinking about how to balance things. M and I have ruled out trying to teach AJ to nap alone - the kid is 3 and attends daycare 3 days a week. NOT worth it trying something new (and risking screwing it up) when most 3 YO's drop nap time soon anyway.
So here's our elaborate algorithm on how to handle naptime with two. Between hours 12-2PM, 2.0 will eventually need to breastfeed. Whenever that is, I'll feed him, swaddle him, and put him down in the pack and play in our room. Then I'll go downstairs to grab AJ and get him ready for nap in our bed (with me). With any luck (as in, if AJ is sleepy enough), he's go down without too much trouble, and there'll be a golden window of overlap between the two where I *may* just get a 20 minute nap in (that's ALL I NEED, I PROMISE!).
Don't be so surprised now, this elaborate plan has been, for the most part, working well. Til about 5 days ago, when both kiddos cried their heads off and no overlap existed. Good thing hubby was still home from work - he swooped baby away and napped with him in another room, offering me a delicious one hour nap.
Anyway, the day after that, I was determined to MAKE IT WORK. New edit to the algorithm: if baby woke up in the middle of the nap period, I'd take him, and immediately a) feed him or b) hold him and get back in bed to sleep, to ensure nap time progresses peacefully. This is exactly what I did on that day, except, one angry AJ also woke up during that time. I had 2.0 wrapped up in my left arm while sleeping in the bottom right corner of the bed, so I scooted up and offered my right arm to AJ, to offer some comfort. It was a super awkward position to sleep in, with about 1/3 of me dangling off the corner of the bed, but I bought myself peace, and I was proud of it. Eventually, I drifted off to sleep with a delicious smile on my face. I dreamed about something peaceful. Peaceful sights. Peaceful sounds. Peaceful smells. Wait. That doesn't smell peaceful. Smells familiar though...what does it smell like? Undigested chicken bits? Why is it getting stronger? I shot my eyes open and realized that the dog's butt was just a mere 2 inches away from my nose. DOG SHIT, that's what it smells like.
The worse part was, I could neither move (both arms occupied) nor shoo the dog away (risking that both babies will wake up). I couldn't even laugh about it cause that would wake them up too. So I silently laugh... and realize this. THIS. Is parenting, with number two.
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Poop and prizes
Today is 2.0's actual due date. Happy due date, baby!
I'm certain that my bathroom scale is not very accurate, but if its anywhere close to being even kind of accurate, then it's safe to say that this baby is growing like a weed. He's weighing in around 9 lbs now (will be confirmed tomorrow at his pediatrician's visit).
So, his due date was today, but since he was born 3 weeks early, that makes him actually 3 weeks old tomorrow. If you can recall, 3 weeks is right around the time when the horrible gas stuff started happening with AJ. Can you guess what 2.0 has started doing this week? I guess I make gassy babies, sigh.
Upon reviewing my last post about gas, I realized there was SO much I forgot about this topic! here
Well, this time around things are a little bit different too. 2.0 has some constipation issues as well, which per every single internet search I've done with Dr. Google, indicates something is wrong (very rare amongst breastfed newborns). Our pediatrician seems to think that this is due to being premature - perhaps a sphincter has not fully developed yet. Whatever is causing it is resulting in hard formed poops instead of the usual newborn running stuff. Yuck. We'll get to see her tomorrow though to sort things out. Best of luck to us.
In other news, I'm gonna take a moment to brag about myself for a bit, cause well, I'm damn proud of myself! I passed my BCACP exam! About 10 months ago, I made a pact with 2 other pharmacist friends to start studying for our board certification credentials. For those who don't know, the BPS exams are intense 200-question comprehensive examinations that cover something like 30 categories of topics of various pharmacy practice areas. The earned credentials supposedly confer pharmacist specialist statuses - or at least tells folks that you were committed to studying for this crazy exam. I agreed to study for it 2 months before I found out that I was pregnant with 2.0. To me, now is the time to do this - or else, studying with TWO kids would be impossible. So, we studied. Independently during the week, and did practice test questions together on weekends. I stole time away from naptimes to get the necessary work done. Many lectures were listened to via podcast in my car. There were some late nights. There were A LOT of days where I doubted myself and told myself that I couldn't do it, but my group kept me strong. Then, things got impossibly tough - when my mom's cancer relapsed, when my pregnancy suddenly turned into a high risk pregnancy, when work got more complicated, when M's family needed our help... all these things happened and I thought that it was life's way of telling me that I should not be doing this. But guess what? All these things happened AFTER I registered to take the exam, so I did it anyway.
And this week, all that hard work has paid off for those 5 letters.
B.C.A.C.P.
I'm certain that my bathroom scale is not very accurate, but if its anywhere close to being even kind of accurate, then it's safe to say that this baby is growing like a weed. He's weighing in around 9 lbs now (will be confirmed tomorrow at his pediatrician's visit).
So, his due date was today, but since he was born 3 weeks early, that makes him actually 3 weeks old tomorrow. If you can recall, 3 weeks is right around the time when the horrible gas stuff started happening with AJ. Can you guess what 2.0 has started doing this week? I guess I make gassy babies, sigh.
Upon reviewing my last post about gas, I realized there was SO much I forgot about this topic! here
Well, this time around things are a little bit different too. 2.0 has some constipation issues as well, which per every single internet search I've done with Dr. Google, indicates something is wrong (very rare amongst breastfed newborns). Our pediatrician seems to think that this is due to being premature - perhaps a sphincter has not fully developed yet. Whatever is causing it is resulting in hard formed poops instead of the usual newborn running stuff. Yuck. We'll get to see her tomorrow though to sort things out. Best of luck to us.
In other news, I'm gonna take a moment to brag about myself for a bit, cause well, I'm damn proud of myself! I passed my BCACP exam! About 10 months ago, I made a pact with 2 other pharmacist friends to start studying for our board certification credentials. For those who don't know, the BPS exams are intense 200-question comprehensive examinations that cover something like 30 categories of topics of various pharmacy practice areas. The earned credentials supposedly confer pharmacist specialist statuses - or at least tells folks that you were committed to studying for this crazy exam. I agreed to study for it 2 months before I found out that I was pregnant with 2.0. To me, now is the time to do this - or else, studying with TWO kids would be impossible. So, we studied. Independently during the week, and did practice test questions together on weekends. I stole time away from naptimes to get the necessary work done. Many lectures were listened to via podcast in my car. There were some late nights. There were A LOT of days where I doubted myself and told myself that I couldn't do it, but my group kept me strong. Then, things got impossibly tough - when my mom's cancer relapsed, when my pregnancy suddenly turned into a high risk pregnancy, when work got more complicated, when M's family needed our help... all these things happened and I thought that it was life's way of telling me that I should not be doing this. But guess what? All these things happened AFTER I registered to take the exam, so I did it anyway.
And this week, all that hard work has paid off for those 5 letters.
B.C.A.C.P.
Monday, June 20, 2016
Sibling Distraction Series: STicKeRs
New series for this blog, how to keep a toddler/preschool sibling entertained with a n00b around.
Today, I bring you.... STICKERS!!!!
There's something magical about stickers that attracts all small hands... and people like me, too. Before 2.0 was born, I stocked up on all kinds of sticker books, sticker projects, etc.
So why are stickers so awesome? Well, for the most part, the mess is pretty minimal. Peel 'em and stick 'em, and that's it. Clean up is pretty much just tossing the backs into the garbage. All in all, it's pretty independent activity (given that your child has the dexterity skills to peel off the backs). It's great for teaching things- shapes, colors, animals, pretty much any sort of recognition skill and you can add in sharpening verbal skills too, if you play alongside your tot.
Here's some activities that we like doing with stickers:
1. Sticker activity books
Cost: 5-10 bucks, depending on quality
Independence: fully independent (if you don't care where in the books the stickers go)
What the baby was doing at this time: breastfeeding
We've gone through several of these books already. Basically, they are activity books that have a generous selection of stickers for you to play with. There's usually specific spots for the stickers, so it's almost like working a puzzle. These guys are usually categorized by interest (cars! trucks! animals!) and age (2+, school age, etc). They're also great for taking out to restaurants ;)
Bonus points if your activity book also has other activities: coloring, connect the dots, etc.
2. Craft kits
Cost: 5-10 bucks (pre-made kits), <5 bucks (DIY)
Independence: requires adults to at least help demonstrate skill
What the baby was doing at this time: taking a nap in the bassinet
This is another great busy tool. A craft that comes in a box - not only does it keep the tot entertained, but there's a prize out of it! The completed craft makes a good card or keepsake to give to a love one (think grandparents). I'm personally a fan of the pre-made kits, because hot damn, I'm not interested in spending my free time cutting and preparing crafts for someone who routinely eats glue.
So there's all types of craft kits, but I love the ones where stickers take up the majority of the decorating. Again, no mess! No cutting and no glueing, just peeling and sticking.
All kinds of companies make these - I bought this particular "summer camp" set at Michaels, with a coupon and a store promotion, no less.
The only thing I'd caution against, is getting your expectations too grande for a project like this. Remember - toddler and preschool art is very much about the process and not the product - expecting a crafty outcome out of a kit like this might frustrate a 3 YO and make it less fun. For AJ, he enjoyed punch and peeling the stickers off of the sheet more than the actual fishy project made here - and I'm totally cool with that.
3. Sticker books
Cost: $1 - infinity, depending on quality
Independence: completely independent (my 3 YO)
What the baby was doing at this time: on the ground, tummy time.
AJ loves his little brother. Sometimes a little too much. He's always wanting to hug and love on him...but sometime, it's just a little too much. I save things like sticker books for him to play with when I desperately need to distract him and keep him away from say...jumping on his little brother. Sometimes, you just need a little bit of wind-down time, you know?
Enter sticker books. Your imagination is the limit here. I buy lots of different kinds of sticker books with different themes. What I've learned is that quality is important. I have a kid who is a rule-follower, so I'm not as concerned about him sticking stickers in inappropriate places, but I'd imagine that no parents want to deal with nasty sticker residue. For this reason, I really like the Melissa and Doug re-usable stickers. Bonus points go to having a play pad for them to place the stickers (they are like "scenes" you can use for pretend play).
4. Textured stickers and card making
Cost: DIY from our "stash" so $1 - infinity
Independence: completely independent (my 3 YO)
What the baby was doing at this time: anything, really.
Three truths in our household:
1. AJ attends A LOT of birthday parties
2. I hate buying greeting cards - it takes a while to shop to find a good one, they are RIDICULOUSLY expensive, and I think that we can make better hand-made ones
3. AJ loves stickers.
I call that a recipe for the perfect distraction project (or child labor mill, depending on how you look at it).
It's pretty easy actually - I buy blank cards when they're on sale at Michaels or JoAnn's (remember to bring those coupons!). I also stock up on cutesie scrapbooking stickers. I usually check out the clearance sections - good prices but still really cute stuff! For this type of project, I do usually try to buy some really cute, textured stickers, cause you know - they're fun! I also buy some "staple" stickers too. To ensure that the stickers don't rip in the process of little hands peeling them, I usually go for the foam stickers. To mix things up a bit, I usually also bring out some self-stampers for AJ to experiment with.
There's no rules on how we make handmade greeting cards, so I usually just lay all the materials out on our kitchen table, and let AJ have at it. He absolutely adores making birthday cards (cause he also gets to pick out one fancy cupcake sticker as the piece de resistance).
Thanks for reading up on our sticking adventures! Hope you enjoyed this Sibling Distraction Series!
Today, I bring you.... STICKERS!!!!
There's something magical about stickers that attracts all small hands... and people like me, too. Before 2.0 was born, I stocked up on all kinds of sticker books, sticker projects, etc.
So why are stickers so awesome? Well, for the most part, the mess is pretty minimal. Peel 'em and stick 'em, and that's it. Clean up is pretty much just tossing the backs into the garbage. All in all, it's pretty independent activity (given that your child has the dexterity skills to peel off the backs). It's great for teaching things- shapes, colors, animals, pretty much any sort of recognition skill and you can add in sharpening verbal skills too, if you play alongside your tot.
Here's some activities that we like doing with stickers:
1. Sticker activity books
Cost: 5-10 bucks, depending on quality
Independence: fully independent (if you don't care where in the books the stickers go)
What the baby was doing at this time: breastfeeding
We've gone through several of these books already. Basically, they are activity books that have a generous selection of stickers for you to play with. There's usually specific spots for the stickers, so it's almost like working a puzzle. These guys are usually categorized by interest (cars! trucks! animals!) and age (2+, school age, etc). They're also great for taking out to restaurants ;)
Bonus points if your activity book also has other activities: coloring, connect the dots, etc.
2. Craft kits
Cost: 5-10 bucks (pre-made kits), <5 bucks (DIY)
Independence: requires adults to at least help demonstrate skill
What the baby was doing at this time: taking a nap in the bassinet
This is another great busy tool. A craft that comes in a box - not only does it keep the tot entertained, but there's a prize out of it! The completed craft makes a good card or keepsake to give to a love one (think grandparents). I'm personally a fan of the pre-made kits, because hot damn, I'm not interested in spending my free time cutting and preparing crafts for someone who routinely eats glue.
So there's all types of craft kits, but I love the ones where stickers take up the majority of the decorating. Again, no mess! No cutting and no glueing, just peeling and sticking.
All kinds of companies make these - I bought this particular "summer camp" set at Michaels, with a coupon and a store promotion, no less.
The only thing I'd caution against, is getting your expectations too grande for a project like this. Remember - toddler and preschool art is very much about the process and not the product - expecting a crafty outcome out of a kit like this might frustrate a 3 YO and make it less fun. For AJ, he enjoyed punch and peeling the stickers off of the sheet more than the actual fishy project made here - and I'm totally cool with that.
3. Sticker books
Cost: $1 - infinity, depending on quality
Independence: completely independent (my 3 YO)
What the baby was doing at this time: on the ground, tummy time.
AJ loves his little brother. Sometimes a little too much. He's always wanting to hug and love on him...but sometime, it's just a little too much. I save things like sticker books for him to play with when I desperately need to distract him and keep him away from say...jumping on his little brother. Sometimes, you just need a little bit of wind-down time, you know?
Enter sticker books. Your imagination is the limit here. I buy lots of different kinds of sticker books with different themes. What I've learned is that quality is important. I have a kid who is a rule-follower, so I'm not as concerned about him sticking stickers in inappropriate places, but I'd imagine that no parents want to deal with nasty sticker residue. For this reason, I really like the Melissa and Doug re-usable stickers. Bonus points go to having a play pad for them to place the stickers (they are like "scenes" you can use for pretend play).
Image: melissaanddoug.com
4. Textured stickers and card making
Cost: DIY from our "stash" so $1 - infinity
Independence: completely independent (my 3 YO)
What the baby was doing at this time: anything, really.
Three truths in our household:
1. AJ attends A LOT of birthday parties
2. I hate buying greeting cards - it takes a while to shop to find a good one, they are RIDICULOUSLY expensive, and I think that we can make better hand-made ones
3. AJ loves stickers.
I call that a recipe for the perfect distraction project (or child labor mill, depending on how you look at it).
It's pretty easy actually - I buy blank cards when they're on sale at Michaels or JoAnn's (remember to bring those coupons!). I also stock up on cutesie scrapbooking stickers. I usually check out the clearance sections - good prices but still really cute stuff! For this type of project, I do usually try to buy some really cute, textured stickers, cause you know - they're fun! I also buy some "staple" stickers too. To ensure that the stickers don't rip in the process of little hands peeling them, I usually go for the foam stickers. To mix things up a bit, I usually also bring out some self-stampers for AJ to experiment with.
There's no rules on how we make handmade greeting cards, so I usually just lay all the materials out on our kitchen table, and let AJ have at it. He absolutely adores making birthday cards (cause he also gets to pick out one fancy cupcake sticker as the piece de resistance).
Thanks for reading up on our sticking adventures! Hope you enjoyed this Sibling Distraction Series!
Thursday, June 16, 2016
On the mend
Today is the first day that breastfeeding has felt...well, normal.
For 3 days now, I've been using this little witch hat.
Why yes, that is a nipple shield.
Since using it, my right one has finally gotten time to heal. It was like a sigh of relief. After a full day of using it, my left one got jealous too, and wanted to use it. OK, in reality, the sores and cracks probably never healed fully, and decided to come back with a vengeance. At any rate, it felt like they were on FIRE.
Suddenly, at 3:12 AM on Wednesday morning, I had a moment of clarity. Who the FUCK cares if I start using the nipple shield on the left side too? I'm already using it on the right side. Using it to let my chewed up nips take a break is not going to ruin my boy's chances of having a healthy childhood. So I DID IT. I used the friggin' shield on my left side as well and gave in. Sweet mother of God, this was what I'd been waiting for - breastfeeding that DOESN'T feel like a school of piranhas are feasting off my girls.
This morning, I woke up not yearning for my ibuprofen like I was a drug addict waiting for the sweet nectar of his next heroin fix. This is HUGE improvement! All morning, I started actually noticing that 2.0 was starting to bat the shield off with his hands. He was starting to show other signs of frustration - like taking the shield in his mouth, then refusing to suck. Or spitting it out, despite a perfect latch and lots of milk available. In a fit of frustration myself, I pulled the dang thing off and fed him. And lo and behold, IT DIDN'T HURT! And he ate and ate and ate until finally, he fell fast asleep.
We're back to breastfeeding without the nipple shield now. Yay! I am sure thankful for whoever invented those silly little witch hats.
For 3 days now, I've been using this little witch hat.
Why yes, that is a nipple shield.
Since using it, my right one has finally gotten time to heal. It was like a sigh of relief. After a full day of using it, my left one got jealous too, and wanted to use it. OK, in reality, the sores and cracks probably never healed fully, and decided to come back with a vengeance. At any rate, it felt like they were on FIRE.
Suddenly, at 3:12 AM on Wednesday morning, I had a moment of clarity. Who the FUCK cares if I start using the nipple shield on the left side too? I'm already using it on the right side. Using it to let my chewed up nips take a break is not going to ruin my boy's chances of having a healthy childhood. So I DID IT. I used the friggin' shield on my left side as well and gave in. Sweet mother of God, this was what I'd been waiting for - breastfeeding that DOESN'T feel like a school of piranhas are feasting off my girls.
This morning, I woke up not yearning for my ibuprofen like I was a drug addict waiting for the sweet nectar of his next heroin fix. This is HUGE improvement! All morning, I started actually noticing that 2.0 was starting to bat the shield off with his hands. He was starting to show other signs of frustration - like taking the shield in his mouth, then refusing to suck. Or spitting it out, despite a perfect latch and lots of milk available. In a fit of frustration myself, I pulled the dang thing off and fed him. And lo and behold, IT DIDN'T HURT! And he ate and ate and ate until finally, he fell fast asleep.
We're back to breastfeeding without the nipple shield now. Yay! I am sure thankful for whoever invented those silly little witch hats.
Monday, June 13, 2016
Diagnosis: mastitis
The last four days or so have been a non-stop blur of intense pain. I've been taking ibuprofen around the clock, and when that wasn't enough, started giving myself acetaminophen as well on an opposing schedule. But I tell you, not very much was touching the pain.
Why was I in pain, you ask? Well, let's just say that those initial days of shallow latching, and the continued poor latching (despite continuing to work on it), has caused painful and large cracks, specifically on my R breast. I began to dread the nursing hour, and when I did get 2.0 to latch appropriate, there was still about 30 seconds worth of lip-biting pain and sensitivity. On top of this, my nipples have developed a hypersensitivity to touch and cold - yes that means that even coming out of the shower feels like scissors are cutting away at the nips.
Then yesterday, this was all brought to a whole new level. Around 9 PM, I started full-body aching, as if I was stricken suddenly with the flu. This proceeded to full-body chills, which only resolved itself after an hour of being curled in fetal position inside 2 blankets (and 600 mg of ibuprofen). That happened again at 3 AM when I woke to feed 2.0 - I ended up feeding him with a fleece robe on and a fleece blanket over my body. SO UNCOMFORTABLE.
This morning, I woke up and knew I had to do something. I'm not unfamiliar with symptoms of mastitis - I guess I was just hoping it'd go away on its own. Stupid.
I placed 2 calls - one to the OB advice team for the mastitis symptoms (they agreed with the diagnosis, and set me up on clindamycin for 10 days) and one to the lactation consult about what to do about the painful latching problem. I was bracing for a lecture - sometimes I feel like people who are lactation consultants never ever ever recommend anything but continued breastfeeding, even if it meant completely ignoring mom's needs. I was pleasantly surprised by Kim, the LC I spoke to today. She listened to me and showed a great deal of empathy. She told me that first and foremost, we needed to fix the mastitis issue. In order to do that, we needed to get the milk out of that breast efficiently - if this meant using a nipple shield, so be it. If this meant pumping and bottle-feeding, so be it. She also gave me a myriad of tips, including applying a warm washcloth on the breast before feeding, football hold to improve latching if needed, and even how to use the nipple shield with the best results.
I immediately sent M out to get the nipple shield and fill my clindamycin. I already feel better, with the nipple shield. Let's hope the clinda, more rest, ibuprofen, better latch, and nipple shield all work together to make me feel better.
Here's to a better breastfeeding day tomorrow!
Already cut the tags off, can't return him no more!
Friday, June 10, 2016
Separation anxiety
We wanted everything to stay as stable as possible for AJ when 2.0 arrived. So even though it doesn't make a ton of financial sense, we decided to keep AJ in daycare, per his usual schedule. The idea was, 2 days a week when baby arrives (his usual schedule), then graduating up to 3 days a week when daddy returns to work in 4 weeks, then finally transitioning up to 4 days a week when I go back to work at the end of 16 weeks. All in the name of making the transition easier for big brother.
I never thought sending him off to daycare would be this hard...for me.
This morning, he cried and cried. He gave me four "big high fives," two on each hand. He gave me a million kisses. He hugged me tons. He begged his dad not to take him away. He made me watch him get into the car.
And right before his door closed, he said "mama, don't play with my trains til I'm home OK?"
That's when I lost it. Heck I'm losing it right now writing this post. My sweet sweet boy, after a whole year of going to daycare, today was the hardest day saying "bye bye" to you.
I never thought sending him off to daycare would be this hard...for me.
This morning, he cried and cried. He gave me four "big high fives," two on each hand. He gave me a million kisses. He hugged me tons. He begged his dad not to take him away. He made me watch him get into the car.
And right before his door closed, he said "mama, don't play with my trains til I'm home OK?"
That's when I lost it. Heck I'm losing it right now writing this post. My sweet sweet boy, after a whole year of going to daycare, today was the hardest day saying "bye bye" to you.
My super silly 3 year old AJ
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Breastfeeding shouldn't be a bitch.
Breastfeeding. Sigh.
Last time we did this, breastfeeding was probably my biggest source of anxiety. I cannot tell you how many times I was reduced down to tears after unsuccessful sessions, deep breast pain, and unspeakable injuries to my nips. It was one of those things that I should have talked about more with others - not just write about on this blog, but actually talk out with real people. Because what I learned, over the last three years, is that breastfeeding is HARD now because we don't have a village.
Think about it. We learn to do a lot of womanly things because of our "village." We learn to braid hair from our "village." We learn about our periods from our "village." We learn how to push a baby out from instructions that the "village" gives us (OK OK, from our labor and delivery village). So why in the world can one expect a new mother to know instinctively how to breastfeed correctly and efficiently, especially if she herself has never witnessed breastfeeding herself? When I thought about this yesterday, my mind just about blew up.
Anyway, this time around I'm not afraid of asking for help. Not just internet help. HELP.
My fave resources:
-Lactation consultant. They are there for a reason, let them do their job! Called once and saw her once already, and 2.0's only 6 days old.
-My husband (because 2 extra hands is exactly what I need sometimes to get the F'in proper latch)
-My mommy friends. Because TMI is not a thing between us.
Today, I'm going to talk about the one root cause of all my issues - from this breastfeeding adventure to the previous one. The LATCH.
Almost all problems with breastfeeding originate from poor latching technique. Again, I'm not saying there aren't real physiological concerns that contribute also (for example, AJ also had a milk tongue-tie issue). However, much of issues related to pain have to do with poor latch. Just think about it. Visualize what you think a latch should look like. Are you thinking about one of those formula commercials where baby is sucking away at a bottle with his mouth centered around the nipple? If that doesn't make sense, think then about how babies suck on binkies. Again, how is the baby's lips positioned? Centered over the nipple right?
Well guess what, THAT there is what is wrong. When babies naturally nurse on the boob, their mouths are not meant to be centered on the nipple. In fact, doing so would result in what I like to call a nipple sandwich (translation: squished nipple which, if you've never felt before, feels like a knife is sheering away at your flesh). Why exactly do we think latching should be centered? Again, how many of us ladies grew up watching babies being breastfed? Now how many of us have fed a baby with a bottle before? Mmmm hmm.
Anyways, what you want to get, to avoid the nasty knife-like pain, is a DEEP latch. Do this with me. Run the tip of your tongue along the top of the inside of your mouth. What are you feeling? The hard palate. It should feel bony and hard (chuckle). Now run your tongue further back - at some point, the hard palate transitions to a soft palate structure. Now pretend you are a nipple with a ton of nerve endings. Would you rather be squished between the hard palate and the tongue? Or in contact with the soft palate instead? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Tid bits I've learned to help achieve the DEEP latch:
1. If using the cross-cradle feeding position, position baby so that his ears, shoulder, and hip all align into a straight line. As big people, we drink our fluids with our ears, shoulders, and hips all in a straight line. Babies are just mini versions of adults, so this rule applies to them as well.
2. NEVER push the breast into the baby's mouth. ALWAYS bring the baby's mouth to the breast instead. Whenever something enters your mouth, the reaction is going to be biting down. OUCH. When you push the baby's mouth to your breast instead, there's a much higher chance that the baby's mouth with close AFTER the nipple has reached the correct depth.
3. Align the nipple with baby's nose. This will feel much higher than needed, but bear with me. The reason this is needed is so that the rest of the nipple can tickle or stimulate baby's chin area. Doing this somehow creates a reflex for baby to open his mouth wide. Once the mouth is wide, hug baby close to bring the mouth over the nipple. The nipple instead should be pointed towards the roof of the mouth to get a deep latch.
4. How to get a good assessment of latch technique. Well, the first thing to assess is pain. Is it painful or is it not? Some stinging upon latching is OK - especially if you have an old injury, but this should go away in like 30 seconds or less. Any sort of pinching pain is an indicator that something's wrong. Finally, when you pull away from the latch, look at the shape of the nipple - if it looks squished, in one direction or another, with a line down the middle, the latch is no good.
Happy latching!
Last time we did this, breastfeeding was probably my biggest source of anxiety. I cannot tell you how many times I was reduced down to tears after unsuccessful sessions, deep breast pain, and unspeakable injuries to my nips. It was one of those things that I should have talked about more with others - not just write about on this blog, but actually talk out with real people. Because what I learned, over the last three years, is that breastfeeding is HARD now because we don't have a village.
Think about it. We learn to do a lot of womanly things because of our "village." We learn to braid hair from our "village." We learn about our periods from our "village." We learn how to push a baby out from instructions that the "village" gives us (OK OK, from our labor and delivery village). So why in the world can one expect a new mother to know instinctively how to breastfeed correctly and efficiently, especially if she herself has never witnessed breastfeeding herself? When I thought about this yesterday, my mind just about blew up.
Anyway, this time around I'm not afraid of asking for help. Not just internet help. HELP.
My fave resources:
-Lactation consultant. They are there for a reason, let them do their job! Called once and saw her once already, and 2.0's only 6 days old.
-My husband (because 2 extra hands is exactly what I need sometimes to get the F'in proper latch)
-My mommy friends. Because TMI is not a thing between us.
Today, I'm going to talk about the one root cause of all my issues - from this breastfeeding adventure to the previous one. The LATCH.
Almost all problems with breastfeeding originate from poor latching technique. Again, I'm not saying there aren't real physiological concerns that contribute also (for example, AJ also had a milk tongue-tie issue). However, much of issues related to pain have to do with poor latch. Just think about it. Visualize what you think a latch should look like. Are you thinking about one of those formula commercials where baby is sucking away at a bottle with his mouth centered around the nipple? If that doesn't make sense, think then about how babies suck on binkies. Again, how is the baby's lips positioned? Centered over the nipple right?
Well guess what, THAT there is what is wrong. When babies naturally nurse on the boob, their mouths are not meant to be centered on the nipple. In fact, doing so would result in what I like to call a nipple sandwich (translation: squished nipple which, if you've never felt before, feels like a knife is sheering away at your flesh). Why exactly do we think latching should be centered? Again, how many of us ladies grew up watching babies being breastfed? Now how many of us have fed a baby with a bottle before? Mmmm hmm.
Anyways, what you want to get, to avoid the nasty knife-like pain, is a DEEP latch. Do this with me. Run the tip of your tongue along the top of the inside of your mouth. What are you feeling? The hard palate. It should feel bony and hard (chuckle). Now run your tongue further back - at some point, the hard palate transitions to a soft palate structure. Now pretend you are a nipple with a ton of nerve endings. Would you rather be squished between the hard palate and the tongue? Or in contact with the soft palate instead? Yeah, that's what I thought.
Tid bits I've learned to help achieve the DEEP latch:
1. If using the cross-cradle feeding position, position baby so that his ears, shoulder, and hip all align into a straight line. As big people, we drink our fluids with our ears, shoulders, and hips all in a straight line. Babies are just mini versions of adults, so this rule applies to them as well.
2. NEVER push the breast into the baby's mouth. ALWAYS bring the baby's mouth to the breast instead. Whenever something enters your mouth, the reaction is going to be biting down. OUCH. When you push the baby's mouth to your breast instead, there's a much higher chance that the baby's mouth with close AFTER the nipple has reached the correct depth.
3. Align the nipple with baby's nose. This will feel much higher than needed, but bear with me. The reason this is needed is so that the rest of the nipple can tickle or stimulate baby's chin area. Doing this somehow creates a reflex for baby to open his mouth wide. Once the mouth is wide, hug baby close to bring the mouth over the nipple. The nipple instead should be pointed towards the roof of the mouth to get a deep latch.
4. How to get a good assessment of latch technique. Well, the first thing to assess is pain. Is it painful or is it not? Some stinging upon latching is OK - especially if you have an old injury, but this should go away in like 30 seconds or less. Any sort of pinching pain is an indicator that something's wrong. Finally, when you pull away from the latch, look at the shape of the nipple - if it looks squished, in one direction or another, with a line down the middle, the latch is no good.
Happy latching!
Tuesday, June 7, 2016
It's a BOY!
Introducing 2.0, AJ's little brother, born 6/3/16 at 1:46 am at 37 weeks. 6 pounds 5 ounces and 19 inches long. Hi baby!!!
Looking back, this labor was a whirlwind. What they say about second babies is absolutely true (in my case anyway). Originally, I was really worried about induction of labor at 37 weeks (is it too early to be successful?), but as it turns out, there really wasn't anything to be too worried about.
Rewind.
6/2/16.
6 AM: I get a phone call from the L&D triage nurse. I'm due to come in at 8 AM for my scheduled induction. Turns out, too many other babies decided to arrive on 6/2. They tell me that they'll call me at 11 to figure things out. Click. I was pretty darned disappointed. Another 4 hours of waiting. More like 4 hours to kill. 4 more hours of anxiety and panic over how this 37 week induction would pan out.
9 AM: I'm getting really antsty - did they say they'd call me BY 11 or AT 11???? I can't remember, and it's freaking me out. We decide to go play in the park with AJ instead.
11 AM: Mid-morning nap. I'm exhausted from the anxiety. The phone rings and I almost fall off the couch. They apologize for the delay and ask me to come in a 12 noon. YESSSSSS finally!
12 PM: I'm admitted and start the paperwork. I'm introduced to the care team, and told that they won't be checking me out til around 1 or 2 PM. Sounds good. M brings out the Surface and we enjoy a few episodes of Friends.
2 PM: I meet the dayshift midwife who checks me out. She thinks the baby is going to be 8 pounds (holy F*** at 37 weeks?!?!). I'm 1.5 cm dilated still and 70% effaced (absolutely no change since 35+5). Misoprostol protocol it is. I remember my heart sinking a bit. It's probably gonna be another long while before I meet this little guy/girl.
6 PM: I meet the night shift OB team - a very soft spoke attending, a flamboyantly optimistic resident, and a very crunchy looking chief midwife. The midwife thinks the baby will be a 6 pounder, MAYBE even a little bit under 6 lbs (OMG I HOPE SHE IS RIGHT). The resident checks the cervix. 4-5 cm dilated!!!!! Wait, what? I barely felt contractions over the last 4 hours. The plan? moving on to Pitocin to induce contractions now. I ask frankly about the epidural...since I wasn't having any pain yet. At 4 cm dilated with AJ, I was hyperventilating from the terrible terrible terrible pain. Resident notes that I might want to consider it sooner than later. When they break my bag of waters, things will progress very quickly - and I may not have time for the epidural. Second babies come a lot quicker, I guess. There was still time to decide though.
8 PM: Pitocin starts. 6 cm dilated. Within an hour or so, I feel the contractions. They are real contractions. Not the wimpy ones I've been feeling for a few weeks. Still not painful though, and breathing is working.
10:45 PM: Checked out by the resident again. 7.5 cm dilated. I'm still not getting the crazy contractions just yet - maybe I can wait it out?
11:30 PM: Yeah these pesky contractions are still kinnnnnda doable. But thinking about the prospect of pushing a baby out of my va-jay-jay without any meds does NOT appeal to me. We summon the anesthetist and within 15 minutes, the good stuff is flowing through my epidural space. GOOD STUFF.
6/3/16
12:30 AM: Me to M: HEY! We should totally watch that labor episode of Friends!
1 AM: resident comes back to check on things. He's asking if I've felt the urge to push yet. Nope. It's gonna happen soon though. Soon. I'm suddenly hit with a bout of the shakes. Literally, my whole body is shaking. I've heard about this before. The labor shakes. I keep fighting it, but the nurse tells me not to - otherwise I'd feel it tomorrow.
1:30 AM: Suddenly out of nowhere, I throw up. WHAT THE HECK??? Then, suddenly, I felt the urge to push. OH MY GOD I CAN'T STOP IT! The MD resident confirms, I'm 10 cm dilated and ready to push.
There were only 4 pushes, and out he came at 1:46 AM.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
The eve
We're at T minus 11 hours now before admission for the induction.
My brain said we're ready. My uterus agrees. My heart?
I'm sitting here on the couch downstairs, creepily staring at my son through the security cam. He's being a 3 year old and wrapping this blanket around over his head, thinking I'm not watching. Or maybe he's doing that because he knows I AM watching. But I'm not even mad. All I can think about is the story I just read him before I tucked him off to bed - I'm a Big Brother Now.
I'm thinking about how 2 hours ago, he plopped on the couch next to me, and slowly ran his little hand over the right side of my belly - the side that usually jumps when that small familiar hand makes contact. I'm thinking about how he told me that tomorrow, I'm going to the hospital because baby wants to "wake up."
I'm recalling how yesterday evening, Grandma asked him if he thought the baby was a boy or girl, and he picked the little pink piece of paper without hesitation and deposited it in the "girl" bet jar.
I'm remembering how 4 days ago, this kiddo pulled up a blanket on himself, then told me he wanted baby to have the blanket too, and gently pulled a big plush corner over the fullest part of my belly.
I'm thinking back to 6 months ago, when I told him that he was going to be a big brother, and that there was a baby growing in my belly. He was wearing a red shirt covered in big bold letters "Big Brother" in Chinese. He was skeptical and asked me if he could "see it." I showed him my belly and he was not sure if he believed me. I took a mental photograph of that moment.
I'm remembering later the next day, when he went over to visit my parents, who both went a full hour without noticing that AJ's shirt said "Big Brother." And when they did, only made the connection that someday, yes, he'd be a big brother. They found out minutes later that yes, he will be a big brother very soon! I remember getting my mom's call later the next day, apologizing for the delayed reaction - that she got so excited she couldn't sleep that night.
I'm thinking about that card I made M on the night the line turned blue. The card that said "oh, hi." with the results inside. He didn't notice for an entire hour that there was a stick with pee on it, sitting next to his keyboard. I waited and waited patiently for him pick up the card to move it (I placed it at a 30 degree angle to his keyboard, so knew it would bother hims enough to have to at least straighten it). I watched out of the corner of eye as he picked up the card, and the stick fell out...and he looked up at me..."REALLY?"
What a ride, 9 months of it.
And soon, we'll be a family of four.
My heart is full with anticipation tonight.
My heart is full with anticipation tonight.
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
5
We went in to my last OB visit today before labor. Everything looked great. The NST showed very good results (which is usually the case), and the OB and I had a very productive discussion about what to expect with the induction next week. Between last week and now, we found out that the placenta has indeed "migrated" away from the cervix - far enough that they are no longer worried about having to schedule a C-section. Phew. Induction it is then. He checked my cervix but warned me that at 35+5, a low score didn't mean much, that there was tons of time left, and that modern medicines meant that inductions (even ones for a non-ripe cervix) are much easier than they used to be.
But good news came as he conducted the exam, at 35+5 I'm 1 cm dilated and 70% effaced with a soft cervix. YES!!! That still only adds up to a Bishop score of 5, which makes a successful induction (as of right now, today) not very successful, but I imagine that's quite a bit of progress since there's still 9 days left.
I'm in the books to meet you baby. Thursday, June 2nd at 8 AM.
Unreal guys.
But good news came as he conducted the exam, at 35+5 I'm 1 cm dilated and 70% effaced with a soft cervix. YES!!! That still only adds up to a Bishop score of 5, which makes a successful induction (as of right now, today) not very successful, but I imagine that's quite a bit of progress since there's still 9 days left.
I'm in the books to meet you baby. Thursday, June 2nd at 8 AM.
Unreal guys.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
I'm back.
It's been a long break away from this blog. I managed to survive without documenting all the ups and downs of my life in this blog for more than one and a half years! So...why am I back? The truth has a lot to do with the reason I started this blog in the first place, in 2013.
To cope. To cope with what? Well, to be simply put, Life.
As I opened up this very familiar yet now foreign website, I glanced at the date of my last post. October 26th 2014. Nine days before my mom was diagnosed with stage IIb pancreatic cancer. That's what a cancer diagnosis does to your family. You start thinking and processing things in terms of "before-diagnosis" and "after-diagnosis." It's been an overwhelming 18 months for my family. My mom was very lucky - she was diagnosed incidentally. If you look at statistics (don't, Mr. Google is one of the most depressing gentlemen I've met in my adult life), she shouldn't be alive anymore. She was lucky enough to be diagnosed at a time when her tumor was still resectable, and survived a Whipple operation that was plagued with some of the worse complications possible - including an internal bleed that almost killed her. After the rough recovery, she managed to somehow finish 6 months of adjuvant chemo and was declared cancer-free in October 2015. Nothing good ever lasts long though. In February 2016, doctors found tumors in her liver as well. She's now on cycle 3 of another 6 month treatment - this time, more so with a palliative intent than a curative intent. Still lucky though, because the tumors were again found incidentally, and not causing trouble yet. And against all odds, she's done relatively well with the chemo cycles.
I say that a lot - the word lucky. I say it to make me feel better. I say it to make my mom feel better. The reality though? Nothing pancreatic cancer-related is lucky. It's one of the most aggressive human tumors and very little progress has been made in finding a cure, or even a preventive screening that's worth a shot. Pretty much, no matter how happy, cheery, or positive of a person you are, I guarantee you that pancreatic cancer will shake your family in a way that nothing else can. But what's the use of attending a long term pity party? It certainly doesn't make anyone in our family feel better.
In the past 18 months, I couldn't bring myself to return to blogging, despite knowing that it has always served as one of my stress-coping mechanisms. The reason, in hindsight, is a little silly. When my mom was diagnosed, I came across a lot of blogs about the pancreatic cancer journey. Almost every single one of them had sad endings. I was convinced that if I started blogging about what was going on, I would be essentially signing her death certificate and giving up. Even the healthcare professional in me forgot though, that the long term survival rates for PC has always lingered around 5% percent or less...so what exactly was I expecting? I have recently come to realize that giving up blogging during the last 18 months has spared me the pain of reliving some of the most painful months of my life - but it has also robbed me of documenting some of the sweetest and most cherished moments in our 30 years as mother and daughter. I'm grieving that a little bit now. My brain realized this early on, but it took my heart until tonight to regain the courage to return.
There's another reason I'm returning to this blog, related to why I even started writing in the first place. I'm about to have my second child in 3 weeks.
A little over a year ago, many of my moms group friends were starting to make cute announcements about having another bun in the oven. I was truly overjoyed for each and every one of these friends. Especially the one that struggled with a degree of infertility. Part of me was a little bit sad that we wouldn't have kids exactly the same age (how cute would that be?). I deflected the "when's your turn?" question with a lot of poise, I thought. I had a huge laundry list of excuses - I'm an only child, so I'm in no rush, or my husband's siblings were all 4 years apart, or we wanted to wait until AJ was potty-trained. There's more. Secretly, I was too devastated with my mom's illness to be ready to think about opening my heart to love another human being. Over time though, she got better, and the month after she finished chemo, my husband and I felt emotionally ready enough to embark on the journey again. Lucky us (here's that word again), I got pregnant within weeks after my IUD came out.
We were obviously overjoyed with the news, and telling my mom still brought her to tears, even though this was a second grandkid. I was always under the impression that pregnancies would get easier and easier, but man, I was wrong about this one.
From day one, 2.0's pregnancy has been tough. I started bleeding for no reason at 6 weeks. The nausea and vomiting was much more extreme - and prolonged, requiring medication to control it. At 10 weeks, they told me that I'd developed kidney stones (still haven't passed them, I guess). At 19 weeks, I was diagnosed with marginal placenta previa (awaiting ultrasound next week to determine if I'll need a C-section). At 21 weeks, my pubis symphysis dysfunction returned, making movement very difficult. At 26 weeks, I was diagnosed with intrahepatic cholestasis - a condition that puts 2.0 at higher chance of stillbirth after 36 weeks, therefore necessitating twice weekly monitoring as well as early delivery.
It's been difficult yes, but Gosh has it been a nice, needed distraction from the stress of our lives right now. I can't tell you how many smiles the weekly bump inspections have put on my mom's face.
On Mother's day, during our weekly drive home from visiting grandparents, M and I took a good look at our 2016 year so far and decided we were actually doing a pretty good job "hanging in there," so to speak. Between the two of us, we are actively taking care of one sick parent, working with another set of parents in marital strife, parenting a 3 year old, making it work with 2 unstable jobs (both our employers are currently considering layoffs), surviving through one high-risk pregnancy, studying for 1 board certification (mine, done as of 5/9/16), and so so so so so much more. We're not doing too bad for adulting, methinks.
Enough updating for tonight. Talk to you later, blog. Good night.
To cope. To cope with what? Well, to be simply put, Life.
As I opened up this very familiar yet now foreign website, I glanced at the date of my last post. October 26th 2014. Nine days before my mom was diagnosed with stage IIb pancreatic cancer. That's what a cancer diagnosis does to your family. You start thinking and processing things in terms of "before-diagnosis" and "after-diagnosis." It's been an overwhelming 18 months for my family. My mom was very lucky - she was diagnosed incidentally. If you look at statistics (don't, Mr. Google is one of the most depressing gentlemen I've met in my adult life), she shouldn't be alive anymore. She was lucky enough to be diagnosed at a time when her tumor was still resectable, and survived a Whipple operation that was plagued with some of the worse complications possible - including an internal bleed that almost killed her. After the rough recovery, she managed to somehow finish 6 months of adjuvant chemo and was declared cancer-free in October 2015. Nothing good ever lasts long though. In February 2016, doctors found tumors in her liver as well. She's now on cycle 3 of another 6 month treatment - this time, more so with a palliative intent than a curative intent. Still lucky though, because the tumors were again found incidentally, and not causing trouble yet. And against all odds, she's done relatively well with the chemo cycles.
I say that a lot - the word lucky. I say it to make me feel better. I say it to make my mom feel better. The reality though? Nothing pancreatic cancer-related is lucky. It's one of the most aggressive human tumors and very little progress has been made in finding a cure, or even a preventive screening that's worth a shot. Pretty much, no matter how happy, cheery, or positive of a person you are, I guarantee you that pancreatic cancer will shake your family in a way that nothing else can. But what's the use of attending a long term pity party? It certainly doesn't make anyone in our family feel better.
In the past 18 months, I couldn't bring myself to return to blogging, despite knowing that it has always served as one of my stress-coping mechanisms. The reason, in hindsight, is a little silly. When my mom was diagnosed, I came across a lot of blogs about the pancreatic cancer journey. Almost every single one of them had sad endings. I was convinced that if I started blogging about what was going on, I would be essentially signing her death certificate and giving up. Even the healthcare professional in me forgot though, that the long term survival rates for PC has always lingered around 5% percent or less...so what exactly was I expecting? I have recently come to realize that giving up blogging during the last 18 months has spared me the pain of reliving some of the most painful months of my life - but it has also robbed me of documenting some of the sweetest and most cherished moments in our 30 years as mother and daughter. I'm grieving that a little bit now. My brain realized this early on, but it took my heart until tonight to regain the courage to return.
There's another reason I'm returning to this blog, related to why I even started writing in the first place. I'm about to have my second child in 3 weeks.
A little over a year ago, many of my moms group friends were starting to make cute announcements about having another bun in the oven. I was truly overjoyed for each and every one of these friends. Especially the one that struggled with a degree of infertility. Part of me was a little bit sad that we wouldn't have kids exactly the same age (how cute would that be?). I deflected the "when's your turn?" question with a lot of poise, I thought. I had a huge laundry list of excuses - I'm an only child, so I'm in no rush, or my husband's siblings were all 4 years apart, or we wanted to wait until AJ was potty-trained. There's more. Secretly, I was too devastated with my mom's illness to be ready to think about opening my heart to love another human being. Over time though, she got better, and the month after she finished chemo, my husband and I felt emotionally ready enough to embark on the journey again. Lucky us (here's that word again), I got pregnant within weeks after my IUD came out.
We were obviously overjoyed with the news, and telling my mom still brought her to tears, even though this was a second grandkid. I was always under the impression that pregnancies would get easier and easier, but man, I was wrong about this one.
From day one, 2.0's pregnancy has been tough. I started bleeding for no reason at 6 weeks. The nausea and vomiting was much more extreme - and prolonged, requiring medication to control it. At 10 weeks, they told me that I'd developed kidney stones (still haven't passed them, I guess). At 19 weeks, I was diagnosed with marginal placenta previa (awaiting ultrasound next week to determine if I'll need a C-section). At 21 weeks, my pubis symphysis dysfunction returned, making movement very difficult. At 26 weeks, I was diagnosed with intrahepatic cholestasis - a condition that puts 2.0 at higher chance of stillbirth after 36 weeks, therefore necessitating twice weekly monitoring as well as early delivery.
It's been difficult yes, but Gosh has it been a nice, needed distraction from the stress of our lives right now. I can't tell you how many smiles the weekly bump inspections have put on my mom's face.
On Mother's day, during our weekly drive home from visiting grandparents, M and I took a good look at our 2016 year so far and decided we were actually doing a pretty good job "hanging in there," so to speak. Between the two of us, we are actively taking care of one sick parent, working with another set of parents in marital strife, parenting a 3 year old, making it work with 2 unstable jobs (both our employers are currently considering layoffs), surviving through one high-risk pregnancy, studying for 1 board certification (mine, done as of 5/9/16), and so so so so so much more. We're not doing too bad for adulting, methinks.
Enough updating for tonight. Talk to you later, blog. Good night.
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