Use your words

So far, we've been moderately successful with Cry It Out. On the one hand, AJ now sleeps better, doesn't rely on a Binky, and can actually fall sleep on his own. On the other hand, he still cried quite a bit before going to sleep. For a while the crying lasted only 2-5 minutes, but it was Ajay's high intensity. The crying actually escalated this week, to the point where he cried for more than one hour one night, and fell asleep after mere exhaustion likely.

Feeling worried I was emotionally damaging my child somehow, I started to reflect on how we were putting him to bed. Everything seemed in place. What could be wrong?

Desperate, I broke my rule of never asking the internet what was wrong with my child, but I was glad I did this time. I've been using a die called troublesometots.com to help guide our CIO adventure. Great website with resources and ideas about CIO. I would highly recommend this website for mom's considering cry it out. Anyway, there I learned about the use of words.

The concept is simple. Babies understand you sooner than you think, verbally. If you narrate your actions, it takes the guesswork out of an already difficult situation, and that may just be enough to sooth your child. I reflected on how I was putting AJ down to sleep. To be honest, I dreaded this every night because I always anticipated crying. So I'd be stoic and maybe even boring to stay strong. I'd do my part quickly and sneak out, some times not even making eye contact. I thought about what this meant to my baby without any words. As I thought about this, I could feel a sharp jab of guilt. My baby was probably scared, unsure if his mama would ever return, confused about what he must have done to drive her away.

The next two nights, I made a commitment to use my words. I would tell him that I love him, but it's late at night. I'm going to lay him down to sleep because he is tired and his body needs the rest. I will be next door and not far away. Good night. Then lay him down, kiss him on the cheek, and walk out of his room.

So far, it has worked wonders.