CIO Night 1 Continued

Oh my. What a night.

After crying himself to sleep (30 minutes of crying), he then woke up at 2 AM (4.5 hours later) and cried 40 minutes.  This was certainly one of the hardest moments of my career as a rookie mom. 40 minutes, I listened to him cry on the other side of the wall, knowing that he was standing, holding on to the rail, looking for mommy.  I must have debated with myself perhaps 47 times whether or not go to in and comfort him.  Part of me wondered if he was hungry.  Part of me wondered if he wasn't right for CIO.  Most of me was just dead tired and wanted this over with.  It took every last ounce of willpower not to go in to his room.  He cried for 40 minutes.  And fell asleep within the hour.

I thought it was over. Why? I had friends who had experiences that led me to believe that after a healthy crying session like that, they'd just pass out for the night (mind you, I was very conveniently ignoring the fact that he JUST woke up on his own after 4.5 hours of sleep, after 30 minutes of nightmarish CIO!)

Silly me.

4:32 AM. This time, I succumbed to my soft mothering instincts and decided to nurse him.  He was indeed hungry and feasted.  When he was done, I knew that his needs were met, so gently laid him down in his crib to sleep. Of course, he cried and cried after I left the room and shut the door.  For how long this time? I have no idea.  I gave up sleeping in our room and migrated to the living room, which is much farther away.  I drifted off to sleep and by the time I had to wake up (less than 2 hours later), he was sound asleep again. (so obviously not 2 hours, ha!).

I went to work like a zombie today, but surprisingly, my 8 hour work meeting forced me to stay focused.  I did miss my son terribly though.  There's something very special about cuddling  a sleeping infant.  I missed it terribly and wanted to come home, even if it meant facing an angry baby. The reality of coming home and dealing with chores though was another story. I did get wonderful encouragement from a friend at work today though.  CIO is tough, but it's a decent parenting lesson that we all need to learn.  There's never a good time for CIO, but the wrong time is probably waiting. I can't imagine doing this if AJ was able to call out my name and beg.  It's tough, but when I'm on the other side, I'll be so proud of myself.

He cried for 7 minutes tonight, and fell asleep after 20 minutes.  I'm hoping this is an indication that tonight will go better.