It has been a tough week so far. I cannot ignore the evidence that my mom is steadily declining. It's hard on all of us - especially my dad. There are some days that she has long periods of time being relatively stable. And then there's not. But I don't really want to talk about how hard it is today. It is hard enough already.
Today, I want to talk about what can you bring to comfort those who are terminally ill.
Flowers.
Always a favorite. The bouquet that's sitting in front of me right now is a color mix of purple, yellow, maroon, pink, and gold. It's from the hospice care team. It looks great and really lifts the mood. My only critique? It smells a little too fragrant. Consider bringing flowers that have little to no scent, in case scents are a nausea trigger for your loved one. Also consider allergies.
Pictures.
Something that my mom always looks forward to is seeing photos of her grandkids. I tend to show the pictures to her when she's eating her meal. That way, I'm not drawing her focus away from resting. I learned today that silly pictures are good, but can induce expected pain from laughing too hard. Oops.
Music.
Don't underestimate the healing and comforting power of music. I played As the Deer on Youtube for her at lunchtime. She didn't recognize it at first, but my dad did. And he started singing it right away, and a small smile escaped from his lips. We're playing a 1 hour Christian piano music loop on Youtube right now, as she naps.
Presence.
Sometimes there's not something they want or need. I've learned that sometimes, a quiet presence is what is sought. My mom has expressed that she doesn't really like visitors cause they tend to be chatting, so I tend to sit in the armchair across the room from her, and just hang out with her as she sleeps. Yes, its awkward, but I'm learning that it's helpful to her.
That's all for now. more insights later.
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