The media always ruins things...by getting it wrong.
No, you don't always fall in love with your newborn. Not when he's brand new, greyish colored, wrinkly, and laying on your chest smelling like...well... what the you smelled like for the last 36 hours cause you were leaking his amniotic fluid.
No, that's not how you know you're a mother. Yes, I mean technically that's the precise moment you've become a mother. But my words to describe that moment? It's not love, and I'm a little embarrassed to say it. Proud? yes. Exhausted? yes. Excited? yes. In awe? absolutely. But love? Not immediately. It really felt like it was just an event that happened - one minute he was kicking inside of me, the next, he's this grey wrinkly thing on my chest.
So, when DID I realize I was a mother? It's a gradual thing really. It builds day by day. Moment by moment. cry by cry. The precise moment I think was when I watched this horrible commercial on TV about planning your funeral so your children won't have to. Somehow, that struck some sort of note in my head - that I've created this little creature now, and I'm responsible for him - and whatever I do...I CAN'T DIE NOW!!! I know this is somewhat comical, but it's true - that's when I knew I was a mother - realizing that something is utterly and completely dependent upon you for sustenance, happiness, warmth, and love.
Also, on another note. It's a strange reflex but it's true. When you become a parent, you're not just a parent to your child. You're a PARENT. When stuff comes on in the news about lost children, separated families, tragedies etc., you get REALLY sad, and all you want to do is hold your child nearby and hug him.
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